Hello Everyone,

It’s been a few weeks but I’m back. I tend to come here when I cant seem to get rid of a negative emotion or feeling in hopes that writing it out and having some support and insight from others will help me pull through.

So here’s the background you need to know for my story: I was raised in a reform Jewish family. They dont eat pork, they follow all the holidays and traditions, and they expect me to marry Jewish.

This year I finally started to date someone Jewish, however I now eat pork and don’t follow tradition. I still consider myself jewish and I still celebrate the holidays, but I dont feel the need to eliminate my intake of bread for a week over passover, and I dont think it makes sense to follow an ancient rule telling me not to eat pork that no longer makes sense.

If I were with my family I would follow tradition out of respect, but living in an area that is predominantly not jewish, and also not feeling particularly connected to these customs myself, I choose not to follow them.

Today I had some churros at lunch which I posted online because they were particularly good and I do that when I’m excited about something. My sister commented in a “joking” way that I’m a bad jew. I immediately contacted her wth obvious upset and frustration, and she continued to tell me that I follow tradition less than the reform Jews, that I’m barely jewish, and that I’m Jewish but not practicing. I was very defensive and upset, and she kept telling me how she follows things even though she doesnt live in a Jewish area, and how I wouldnt feel guilty if I didnt believe my actions to be wrong. The conversation snowballed and now I am furious with my sister, racked with guilt, and too upset to focus at work.

I believe religion should be noones business but that of the individual who chooses it. It should be your choice to practice religion in the way that works best for you. So why am I feeling so horrible?