In short I wasn’t a wanted child, my parents desperately wanted a boy due to cultural reasons and being the youngest I was their final attempt but was born a girl. They didn’t keep it a secret;my nickname was “spare one”.

I was neglected very badly as a child, left alone many times,. There was also sexual abuse from a close relative when I was very young. My mum has never to this day spoken to me or reassured me that it wasn’t my fault. When she found out (15 years later) from my sister who I confided in she was screaming at me on the phone basically calling me a liar and asking why I’m stirring trouble up. My sister confronted him and he admitted everything but still my mum has never comforted me. She actually told me to get over it and it’s not a big deal as it happens a lot.

I feel a lot of anger at my mum in particular that she should have loved me or at least pretended to. I feel such rage at times that I blame on other things but truth is it hurts me that I’ve never been loved.

i don’t have any happy memories of my childhood or even adulthood with my family. My wedding day in particular was very lonely and I didn’t have the love and excitement I see in films or even in other people’s weddings. To this day I just feel I have a family when someone needs anything off me, but when I need anything or want my family’s support they all disappear! My in-laws did a big party for my son’s first birthday and 2 of my sisters and their family did not even bother attending. It was very embarrassing as everyone was there on husbands side was there. I don’t know why I keep expecting my family to be better and wishing they would love me, I know I’m wasting my life thinking about them but I just wish I had been born into a loving family who really wanted me.

• This topic was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by Suzie36.