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Have No Idea What Decision I have To Take

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  • #127232
    Sini
    Participant

    #127233
    Sini
    Participant

    I have no idea what to do next. I am from a orthodox muslim family. I have a relationship when I am in college. I couldn’t say it is a relationship. In y collage days I got a new friend and He becomes My bestiee. He also considering me like ore than a best friend. Slowly I falling love with him. But the fact that i didn’t say it him directly. but he knows well.
    unfortunately after my studies my parents arranged my marriage and I opposed. But I didnt say them I am in love with other guy. Because I am not sure will he accept me or not. Finally I asked him but he said no. he never consider me like a girl friend. After that he didn’t speak also. Just avoided . I donno how to survive that situation. At the same time my parents arranged everything for my marriage and I spoke to that guy that I dont want to marry you. But That guy didn’t hear my words. In last year I married Him. Without my permission my wedding over. I tried my level best to adjust with him. But i couldn’t. My husbnd hurt me physically and mentally. he never tried to understand me. Now he going to file a case for divorce. I donno what to do. Everyone saying he will change. go for a counseling definitely he will change. but the main part is that I don’t have any affection to him. then How can I change him? What Should I do?

    #127234
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Perhaps it might be for the best that you two separate. I doubt counselling can really undo mental and physical abusive ways. You were forcibly married off too. It’s been abuse one after another for you. Break free from this. Let him get the divorce and save yourself. Settle down with a more decent guy. Request your family for some time and better investigation if they try to find a match for you.

    #127235
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi sinias,

    I agree with Nina Sakura. Do you live in the US or in a liberal country? If you are somewhat free to do what you want, I would stay with friends and family (not necessarily your parents!). The good news is he wants a divorce. The abuse he gave you gave you permission to leave, guilt free.

    And even 100 plus years ago when my people did arranged marriages, they at least honored the girl’s preferences! My great grandmother turned down an engagement. Your parents were wrong to make you marry the guy, even by 1800’s standards! Think about it.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

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