July 29, 2013 at 7:53 pm #39415Sapnap3Participant
I want to tell you guys about something that happened to me…I sat at a bench in a park on my way home today, talking to myself (thanks Preet). I re-read all of your comments for the 5th time and really let all the words sink in. I can’t claim that in a few hours I am “cured” but I can say that I felt really compassionate towards myself and my ex. I see now that letting me go is the most loving thing he has done for me. He has given me a gift that I will always be thankful to him for. I told myself to let him go. really let him go. I cried a lot and than I burned the calendar I have been keeping track of the days I haven’t contacted him. I told myself that the best way I can honor my love for him and me is to really let him go. Tell the universe to give him everything he wants and hopes for. I will still miss him and ill embrace those memories with love and tears but I will not go back and do would’ve …should’ve …could’ve…
After I read one of the articles John recommended (maybe too early), for a second my mind thought “maybe after this experience, me and him can give it another go” but than I realized that why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me? what will that prove to me? will it give me the self assurance and confidence that I need? would it make my ego feel better if I can only recognize myself for who I really am. I am someone who is not ok with feeling inadequate or sad. I am someone who Googles how I feel to find Tiny Buddha. 🙂 I have to recognize that I am extraordinary and I will never be with someone who will even try to make me ordinary, even if that is my old self.
Letting my ex go mentally was so painful but for some reason after I said those words to myself and in a way to him, I felt lighter. everything looked a little brighter. I may not be there 100% (definitely 40% there) but I am on my way. I am so thankful to have found you guys to guide me. ill need more guidance from all of you and I hope to give the same love to you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. a million good wished to all of you.July 29, 2013 at 10:17 pm #39427PreetParticipant
Whenever I read Sapnap, I feel that it is me who is talking. I could not have imagined to find someone exactly in my position and at the same point in time!
Are we soul-mates Sapnap? 😛
I am so happy that you are on your way. It is going to be a long and enduring journey and the easiest way to overcome all obstacles would be to keep improving and changing things around you. Also, just get actively involved in learning a new hobby. Anything that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, this is YOUR TIME!
There are two more points I’d like to share.
Firstly, you have to understand who is the stronger person here? Is it you or is it that guy? Of course it is you. John mentioned it correctly that if he had to leave you he should have done it long back. Why did he do it when he found someone else? It is because he is a weakling and needs someone to lean on. For you, this is a golden opportunity to connect with yourself, to be independent once again. And thus explore the inner beauty of yourself and get closer to the divine.
Another point that you mentioned about being extraordinary, I totally agree with you. And how I can tell you this is because when my guy left me he told me that I should realise that I am special. And that I have a lot to do and achieve in life. Somewhere he knew that I was not doing justice to myself because I had stopped being me. He could see my inner potential but I kept subsiding it down.
But after all this I felt, there is no such thing as inner potential. We all are gifted with it. However, not many realise it. You and I are blessed that we understand this thing about ourselves. What will truly make you happy and successful is the hard work, the focus and determination with which you run after your dreams. Stop thinking too much about your future, your past etc. Just turn off your PC and begin to do some activity. Clean up your house, change the bedsheets, complete a pending assignment or may be even hit the gym. Anything! Just go out there and do it! Keep doing it till you’re drop dead tired! Grab this opportunity of not being answerable to anyone!
And in the end, let’s close down this thread and move to a nicer forum, maybe a motivation or something where we can discuss our daily achievements, our progress and just come out of this vicious circle of “Missing-Sobbing”. That is what is going to make the difference.
PS: This is my last reply on this thread. I am glad that I came across this. Thank you Sapnap for putting it all into words for me and help me gauge myself in the process.
Hope to see you all on some more amazing journeys of life that we can share.
LoveJuly 30, 2013 at 11:42 am #39442EParticipant
well said preet…i agree and we too have similar stories…thks for sharing