Hi all, I posted a few months ago with a relationship problem. The update is he has moved out and been out for 7 weeks now. After about 3 weeks of emotional turmoil for me after that and adjusting to my new alone life I have accepted it and I am moving on.
At the time when he moved out we both said it wasn’t over( due to denial from both of us) and we kept in touch, by phone and meeting in town for coffee etc. It didn’t take me long to realise I wanted it completly over romantically but just wanted friendship. I knew he thought we might get back together down the track and he still loves me. I told him it was over after he kept asking and pestering me and basically being very needy. He did hear me and he did understand me and he said he still wanted to be friends.
More pain and upset again. But we still are still in touch and I know he still thinks he has a chance by the way he acts and will do anything for me.
I know the general rule is you cant be friends after a relationship and that you need to cut all ties completely. The problem is we live in a very small town and it is impossible to avoid each other. I need to move on and I want to start seeing other people but I still feel like I would be “cheating” on him and he would be devastated if he saw me with someone else and that chance is high in a small town as well as the local grapevine.
I don’t want to have to go through the same “break up” for the third time as I am just starting to feel good and I’m sick of emotional turmoil.
We still talk or text on a daily basis and see each other at least a couple time a week in the street etc. It is just like we a great friends but I know he is doing it for another reason and I feel like I am leading him on. ( I don’t do or say anything to suggest this)
Help, how do I make him realise that we are never going to be together again without hurting him all over again.