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PLEASE HELP?

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  • #57353
    Minh
    Participant

    Hello In 2006 I heard my husband sexually flirting with his direct report at work. I later found out he took her to NY in the name of work training on company expense and it had been going on for a few years. She is married too and pretend to be happy in her marriage. In 2007 I found out he has a long relationship with another workmate who was older than him and married again. He had flirting notes saved to few other females in the office.We went to HELL and back after finding this out. He cried his eyes out and told me he loved me and didn’t want to break the marriage. Later his job changed and now he travels a lots (internationally) and I decided to check his loyalty and this man never fails me….:-( I heard him booking his girls before the trips some Junior staff from the different offices and some paid escorts and one he picked up after flirting with in a Asian beauty parlor (does take much imagination). He again went thru months of no talking I was Really ready to expose him and walk away from this useless relationship but he balled his eyes and I stopped in the name of my kids. They have nothing wrong to deserve a broken house. He is a GREAT dad. Now he is still traveling and i don’t trust him one pinch and lost whole lots of respect for him as person and MAN. He is making a effort or has he changed how to tell or just use him just like he is using him and find my own fun elsewhere….Any suggestions….please help!!! TORN TO SHREDS…..

    • This topic was modified 8 years ago by Minh.
    • This topic was modified 8 years ago by Minh.
    #58992
    tinkerbellknits
    Participant

    I can’t speak from experience on this one, but you need to make yourself happy first and foremost otherwise you’re children won’t be happy either. They will feel your pain. And if nothing more they have a terrible role model for their own behaviour which in staying with him you are condoning….
    I hate to say it as I don’t have children so can’t know the pain this is causing you, but I really feel you need to make sure you’re happy and if you’re not you need to try to break free.
    I hope you can find strength x

    #58996
    BellyButton
    Participant

    You gotta start putting yourself and your family first. Without trust there is no love. You deserve love and happiness. He is not providing that. Simple as that.

    #59108
    Minh
    Participant

    Thanks for you kind reply!

    #59141
    jon
    Participant

    I agree. Put your family first and communicate with him about how you feel. It’s obvious trust was lost, but considering you have kids it may not be worth giving up yet. Make sure he knows about how you feel and let him know he has to choose between his family or his own adventures. Make things clear to him that you have no other options but to leave if it happens again and make sure to act on it or else he’ll continue his habits and realize your too weak to follow thru.

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