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  • July 10, 2015 at 3:53 pm #79638
    Kate Ryan
    Participant

    On this 4th of July weekend i came into contact with some extreme pain for my heart and soul. I had felt a bit of disconnect from my boyfriend of 9 months for the past week, nothing major just a little bit of boredom maybe. I knew his phone was dead so i decided to leave him a voicemail telling him how much I loved him and so on. Knowing his phone wouldn’t be charged until morning i went to bed thinking of the possibilities that were open for our relationship. Waking up i had no messages and i knew something was wrong. We talked all day and I am not sure how it came up but he said he was seeing someone else and he was with her right then. He then proceeded to dump me and tell me he was moving to Idaho. This morning i woke to see a picture on social media with him and this girl cuddling on the couch and saying their I love you’s and it was during the time we were together. I am completely heartbroken. I lost a man that I loved and she won and he moved to Idaho today.

    July 10, 2015 at 8:49 pm #79640
    Richard Kronick
    Participant

    Dear Kateryan,

    I feel for you. I know from experience how painful a situation like that can be.

    Being a man, I can tell you that we often do stupid things, and I apologize on behalf of my gender. Life can be confusing and we are all doing the best we can.

    That being said, you cannot change another person and make them return to you. Nor should you, because he doesn’t deserve you, because he somehow missed your value and beauty. Your healing will come faster if you sever ties to him (ie: disconnect with him through social media).

    We cannot always control what happens to us but we can control how we react. It does take some practice, but this is the perfect situation to begin practicing on. Begin by shifting your focus to something positive. Everytime you think negative thoughts or feel a negative emotions, gently redirect your mind to something positive. It can be anything: the natural beauty around you, the intricacy of a spider web, someone who makes you feel good, a wonderful experience you’ve had, something you are excited about, a sunset.

    Just like any habit, you may have to do it again and again, but it will become easier and easier.

    I know this doesn’t take away the pain, but in my experience, all you can do is let the pain heal itself and, in the meantime, constantly focus on the beauty around you.

    I wish you love and joy!

    -Richard

    July 11, 2015 at 6:25 am #79645
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi keteryan,

    I hate when our intuition really IS right. Oh, holy gods, I’m sorry.

    I don’t know what is worse ~ him not giving you a heads up way before, him leaving you for another girl, or him leaving you for another girl in Idaho.

    OK, NO offence to people living in that part of the country, but seriously?!?

    What I would do is make a joke out of it. When people say, “Oh, I’m so sorry” or anything, just roll your eyes and say, “Well, he’s the one stuck in Idaho.” Or, “Well, there always was something a little off about him.. I mean, with the whole Idaho thing.. LOL”. Or, “Yup! I was dumped for by a girl who convinced him to move to Idaho ~ What is wrong with me that I can’t compete with a girl from Idaho?!?!”

    Just laugh, laugh and laugh at the absolute absurdity of it all.

    You can even say, “Well, I hear he’s now bored with her and wants to get out, but she has the truck, so he’s truly stuck ~ in Idaho and can’t get out.”

    For his birthday send him a package of Lay’s Potato Chips. With a note, “I’m sure you already have this, but you can never have too many!”

    OK, I hope I made you laugh today!!!

    Best,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Inky.
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