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HELP Am I in a relationship but still in love with my ex? Cant figure it out!

HomeForumsRelationshipsHELP Am I in a relationship but still in love with my ex? Cant figure it out!

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Viewing 15 posts - 241 through 255 (of 290 total)
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  • #223429
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    That lol at the end, yes, that’s Jenny Lynn that I remember so well, lol. I want to re-read your last post and any that you might want to add to it, when I return to the computer in about 16 hours or so. Too unfocused now. I will be back.

    anita

    #223589
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    You wrote: “So what? Is everyone gone?”- yes, everyone is temporary in our lives. Our very life is temporary, so everything in it is temporary.

    “Were they (the men, John, Glen, others) all mistakes?”- looking back, reads like they were mistakes, that is, they didn’t/ don’t benefit you and your life. Thing is, the great majority of people spend the majority of their lives (I have) in relationships that are mistakes and leave them empty. You are no exception.

    But it doesn’t have to continue this way. Really, if you pay attention and live thoughtfully, with clear intention, having reasonable goals and clarity of thinking, learning from your experiences, you can make your life way, way… way less a subject of mistakes. You can replace the random with planning, sort of be a good manager of your own life, directing your life.

    No longer winging it, no longer settling  for what presents itself in front of you, but seeing the bigger picture, looking for options that are not visible. Specifically to the title and topic of your thread, it doesn’t have to be John or Glen. It can be.. (we don’t know yet).

    anita

     

    #223671
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yeah. I guess we will see how this getting over John thing is gonna go.

    #223717
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    You clearly need a relationship, I am hoping you get involved in a good relationship. What if you prepared a Relationship Resume where you state your experience and what you learned from it, then you state your goals for a relationship, what you want in it, what you want in a man. That would be part of that intentional, self directed way of life that I suggested.

    anita

    #223719
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    I think so too. And truthfully I think ppl try and make me feel bad about that. But I’ve came to realize. I’m someone who doesn’t have an issue being alone. I just..don’t want to. I don’t like it. I like having an intimate connection with someone. I have great friends, I always have, but it’s a different interaction.

    Being a person who I feel didn’t ever experience true expressive love. And spent the greater part of my life alone and without outward expressions of affection to me from others. When I came to college. I liked it. I enjoy it. I also like hanging out with guys. I always have. One of my truest best friends I’ve ever had was in high school & was a guy. But then in this time frame everything gets complicated cuz I end up having feelings for ppl I shouldn’t sometimes.

    I’ve ran across good ppl, and messed things up because the bad ppl who gave me more direct attention. Even when their intentions for me weren’t as good

    but I am tired of feeling like I’m a awful person because I consciously can say I want to be in a relationship. I love, love. And I love being loved. Our experiences shape us and everyone is different. My experiences made me have an attachement to relationships because of the way I was treated as a kid I think. The idea that someone I want. Wants me. And we continuously want each other. I love that shit.

    I could do myself a favor and not love it at my own expense.

    But I am Libra. We are the love sign lol.

    My thing I need to work on is when to heed the red flag and walk away from ppl.

    Ill try what u suggested.

    #223723
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    “I love, love… I love that sh*&”- and I love the way you express yourself!

    I think it is fine and dandy to want to be in a love relationship, to love and be loved. I can’t think of anything more meaningful than that, really. So try the Relationship Resume I suggested, you can even post a draft of it here. If you want I will be more than glad to offer editing suggestions. I enjoy editing.

    anita

    #226309
    Anonymous
    Guest

    How are you, Jenny Lynn?

    anita

    #226327
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Hey there!

    Im good. Just working and stuff. Ironing out the details of my life coming.

    Started a healthy routine. Losing weight. I get up at like 4:50am MWF.

    Still dating John lol.

    But you are never gonna guess who text me Sunday………GLEN!

    He said “I have a question”

    i sent a ? Back and he put a questioning notification on it and I said what’s the question. He never text me back. ….

    I guess that was his question. Smh. He’s annoying.

    #226347
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    Stranger about Glen, he said there will be no contact between the two of you once separated and .. he did contact you, no question about that! lol.

    I typed lol. I did. Well, keep ironing the details of your life, and good to read from you. Don’t be a stranger and post once in a while, I would like that.

    anita

    #226379
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yesss! That’s the same thing I thought. “You said”

    but then he pulled back and didn’t respond. Still in my head I was like it probably took a lot for him to do that.

    Yeah we’re going to have to. But I’m about to retransition.

    I got a really good possible job opportunity where I lived previously before coming to live my mom.

    I think if offered I’m going to take it. As well that means I’d be driving a 1 1/2 each way for work. But I’m currently already driving about a hour.

    Then after I save some money I was considering moving bk.

    I don’t know though. Any thoughts?

     

    and yes I embraced your “ lol “

    #226465
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    Thank you for embracing my lol. I think I will use it again on your thread, not likely in other threads. It will be a sort of something special I share with you, lol.

    Glen, well, I don’t know what to make of it, maybe he was throwing something at you, like a bone and expecting you to get all excited and go after it. I wouldn’t like it if you did, that would be way beyond your worth, just not right.

    The job opportunity, I like it and hope you take it, that it works out and that you will be moving closer to the job location. There is a whole lot more value in having a satisfying career, making money, living independently, than there is in compromising relationships where you end up alone, older-but-not-wiser, and poorer than before.

    anita

    #226517
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yeah that’s what I think too in regards to Glen. Like literally the message in itself and the response was the actual question really. But I definitely wasn’t going to press him further about it. Its relieving to know he’s exactly the same person he was 6 months ago. Me and you both know Anita that 1. There’s nothing else to be said and 2. even still Glen; the Glen we both know never uses his words to his positive advantage. There would be times there was a million things he could have said to resolve or bring light into something and he would always choose the latter. So of course that was his approach which yes the contact was out of character for him…(but people talk a good game with that you will never hear from me again crap) but not enough for me to be like oh wow that was so unlike him..blah blah blahh lol

    So yea, over that. I just told myself to forget it even happened. Besides I am dating John and conversing with some other guys that I’ve met over social media that live in my area just getting to know them. I’m preoccupied enough to focus on my goals and not be distracted by drama that he would DEF bring if I had even made one more inquiry as to what he wanted.

    Yeah I am ready to move back ‘home’ though. I just don’t want to feel like I am rushing it or anything.

    I do think itll be the solution to a few issues I am having which is not being in that city very often, not seeing my friends as often, not knowing ppl where I live, not being in a place I find comfortable, and being able to see John more. But sooner rather than later I’d like to move back the job pays well enough that If I started it in Oct I could move by November really. But if I didn’t I could save so much money. Its just hard for me to see my motivations clearly. But my independence is very important to me as well. It may not bother most people but I enjoy going to a home that MINE and coming in and doing whatever I want and being alone. My mom is not worrisome and leaves me alone a vast majority of the time. But still I would like to just be by myself. I am going back to school in August 2019 hopefully in the city. So why not go ahead and make the transition?

    Also my birthday is next week. So that’ll be interesting to see how that’s going to go. Geeezz the suspense. I kind of just set myself to have no expectations so that I don’t get disappointed. But I don’t know why I get like this lately I used to always be so excited for my birthday. Yet again, Im not really feeling this one this year. But time is going to pass regardless. I like organized things and this is kinda spotty just because my money is wavering and with that comes the ability to kind of do whatever I want. Im not in the shape I would like to be in…so many things.

    #226519
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    I am not focused (this time of the day for me) but I managed to read some of your post. Yes, Glen is the same and I am glad you are not  open to open a door to the same-old-same-old. What a waste that  would be, a waste of your time and energy, going backward and getting stuck again (my face is currently distorted with that thought!).

    Your birthday, yes, I remember, I will go backward to your thread to find out the exact date because I  do want to honor your birthday on your thread.

    Regarding the rest of your recent post, I will read it tomorrow morning and reply further then. Feel free to add anything, anytime.

    anita

    #226617
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    You make sense. Glen- a bad idea, that is settled. Otherwise, you plan on starting a new job this coming October. You  plan to start school in August next year. You can move where you will be working, where you were previously living, this November, but if you stay living with your mother, you will be able to save money.

    If you move this November/ this year, will you be able to finance yourself through planned school, paying rent and so forth? If so, move, I say. Look for reasonable rent, take your time looking and finding a good place to move to, that would be my first priority- living where I feel comfortable.

    Best that you focus on the coming job, school, your career overall, and see friendships and relationships as less important, although necessary (at least friendships). Focus on making a better life for yourself. (As you can see if you read through this very thread, the time and energy you invested in relationships, particularly with Glen, did not benefit you).

    anita

    #226629
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    It’s the 28th lol

    but yes focus. I am a high powered machine right now driven by the need for change.

Viewing 15 posts - 241 through 255 (of 290 total)

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