Rewa,

My dear, I would love to help if I can. Without much input, it is a bit difficult. Luckily, I have experience with dark times. Is this a relationship that ended? I have been through those as well, I can say this, in my darkest times I had the most personal growth,this too shall pass. I feel that everyone deserves happiness and joy. So do you. If it is a lost job or love then that was meant to be and your getting ready for another opportunity and you were in preparation for this event. Letting go of a person, place, or thing, is a powerful exercise. Think about what you want and deserve and go get it. I started exercising, when I lost my job and love of my life, to save myself from the deep depression that was beginning to take over. It helps me to feel good and look good. Please keep your head up and journal everyday to get the thoughts out of your head,it helps ….trust me. Fight for yourself to be happy. Give yourself some credit, I know you have had hard times and you got through it. You are strong please believe in your ability to overcome this moment in time, that is what this is a moment in time and you will get through it and one day, you will be able to help someone who is feeling like you. Good luck my friend and update on your progress, if you don’t mind:)

Your friend,

Erin-hugs. 🙂

Hi Rewa,

I’m going to get straight to the point here. We all do stupid things throughout our lives. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or in denial. We can’t possibly know what our choices will bring us down the road, we just make the best decisions that we can at any given time, with our limited knowledge at that time. It’s never perfect and yet we do the best we can. The future is always uncertain and we can’t change the past. Because of this, we are going to make mistakes. Even when we learn from previous mistakes, we’re going to make new ones. Again, anyone who tells you that they know everything and walk the path perfectly is a fool. Accept that you, along with everyone else, have done stupid things, and will do more stupid things in the future. It is normal. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get past the guilt. For example, I’ve been in relationships just because I was attracted to the girl. I wasn’t even interested in their personalities. I’ve learned quite a bit from those experiences. But I was stupid for doing it. I even wanted to like their personalities. I lied to myself, convincing myself that I was in it for the right reasons. But they were just lies, so I didn’t have to face the painful truth. We do things like this all the time, and for many different reasons. Now when I talk about the experiences, I can laugh about how stupid I was in those relationships. It’s taken time to get to this point, but it’s also helped me go easy on myself when I catch myself doing more stupid things. When I talk about those things with others, they tend to share their own stories of doing stupid things, and we laugh about it. Making a promise is another opportunity to do something stupid. I say this because when we make promises, we are claiming that we are going to do something in the future. We are making a guarantee that it will happen. But we also know that the future is uncertain. You see the problem here? By making a promise, we are guaranteeing a future event which is uncertain. It doesn’t really make sense. But we do it anyway, mainly because it makes sense when we’re making the promise. We picture the promise simply unfolding according to a nicely laid out plan. However, we don’t see the unknown forces which end up guiding us in other directions. We don’t see them because we can’t see into the future. The best we can hope to do is make educated guesses on what might happen. But even that doesn’t really tell us anything for certain.

Begin to accept that we all do stupid things, which include making a promise which we no longer wish to keep.

I hope this helps!

Rewa, I’m sure it is tough for you right now. But hang in there. You made a promise to someone you have a lot of respect for, and that is tough to go through. You mentioned in the other post that your parents, though hurt, were ok with your choice with wanting to no longer be a nun. Is that right? You also said that you lied to them, by not telling them about seeing your guru twice, is that right too? If these are true, then I suggest opening up to your parents, especially if you feel like you’re lying to them. They might be upset again, but they will appreciate you coming forward with honesty. I can tell this situation is uncomfortable for you, but you can take steps forward by being open and honest to your parents. What do you think about this suggestion?

Rewa.

Let it go.

You and I are in a similar place right now. The Dream never dies.