Forum Replies Created
July 1, 2014 at 4:30 pm #60054
Hi, how are you? Silly question right? First of all Please put the bat down. Stop beating yourself up my love you do not deserve it. I’m pretty sure we all have told white lies to serve whatever purpose whether business personal whatnot.. Sure more details would be helpful but the very apparent thing here is the lack of acceptance you have for yourself and the lack of love for yourself and that is a difficult and long journey, whatever the reason is whatever dynamic you grew up with it’s time to start the journey. I have dealt with a lot of crap and I have gone through a lot of therapy and what I learned is people think of me is none of my business. Yes we all need friends we all want to be accepted it’s a typical human desire. I spent a good bit of time alone with myself and at that time I truly didn’t like myself so it wasn’t exactly the best of company. These were the painful times “the Armageddon” and I need to tell you that this is a time that I truly grew as a person and learned to like myself. Right now in this very time I’m concerned for you and my heart hurts for you because I know where you’re at and it’s not a good space but if you cannot believe believe that I believe everything is going to be okay. I was told to look in the mirror and say I love myself the called affirmations it sounds hokey but do it I am no psychotherapist or anything like that but I have experience in self-loathing. Journal your thoughts to get them out of that beautiful head of yours. You sound like a very sweet person you don’t deserve this and if somebody doesn’t like you for you are especially when you’re going through hard times they’re not a friend. Friends except you when you’re going through hard times they ask you if you’re okay and can they help they don’t tell you what a huge pile of crap you are when you’re at your lowest point that’s not friendship. Sounds like there’s something deeper going on with them as well if you get pleasure by inflicting pain, there’s a word for that it’s probably a clinical word possibly a diagnosis not sure i’m not a doctor. I am sure without knowing you that you’re very kind and sweet person you would help someone if you’re walking down the street and he saw young woman crying I bet you any amount of money that you would stop and say are you okay.
One thing that absolutely helped me is I began to just try I try doing things that I wasn’t used to doing it because I knew that something had to give. When I was battling depression exercise is last thing that I wanted to do but I knew that it’s been clinically proven to fight depression or help at least so I began
to walk and I’m going to tell you what if the best thing that could’ve ever done so. I’m so glad that you posted this because you are reaching out and this is actually taking action for yourself. So things that helped me is I cut out people that weren’t for me or helpful-accepting.ect. I prayed for help, I learned Yoga which is very helpful. There are all kinds of YouTube videos on how to do things. I’m sure you get a lot of feedback here just take care of yourself do something nice for yourself even if it’s just showering,doing your hair and makeup, if you can go to the consignment shop and get a new shirt. Main thing is here is why should you be so undeserving of love and happiness what have you really done to deserve such despair? Please just don’t give up recognize the beauty within yourself and what you have to offer you may need to find new friends,they won’t know you and if you were telling white lies just practice being honest you have nothing to hide you just alone are enough. Make the decision to stop hating yourself don’t believe everything that you breathe. People of had lots of opinions about me my whole life and I used to succumb to them not anymore I just say keep breathing and MoveOn. Someone doesn’t like me and really that’s their problem I know I’m good personably so don’t intentionally hurt people and I have a caring heart, for some reason mean people like to hurt people like us. Study hard in school and give yourself a chance to really become who you were meant to be don’t give up to your emotions exercise to fight the depression smile when you want to cry, and education is the best thing you could do for yourself and you deserve it give it a chance!!!!!!
so basically what I’m saying is stop hating yourself and beating yourself up, get up and go walk -do some jumping jacks take a shower put on some shiny lipgloss and do not listen to depressing music set-listen to happy music something that makes you feel good be around people that make you feel good if that’s no one then fine go to church or somewhere where people are genuinely nice to people try department store were people say hi welcome to such and such how are you today. Please give yourself a fighting chance love yourself you are beautiful and worthy of love,good luck and please keep me updated I hope I didn’t offend you but I have a very personal reason for being worried. Life is too short and no one deserves this no oneJuly 1, 2014 at 6:33 am #60034
My dear, I would love to help if I can. Without much input, it is a bit difficult. Luckily, I have experience with dark times. Is this a relationship that ended? I have been through those as well, I can say this, in my darkest times I had the most personal growth,this too shall pass. I feel that everyone deserves happiness and joy. So do you. If it is a lost job or love then that was meant to be and your getting ready for another opportunity and you were in preparation for this event. Letting go of a person, place, or thing, is a powerful exercise. Think about what you want and deserve and go get it. I started exercising, when I lost my job and love of my life, to save myself from the deep depression that was beginning to take over. It helps me to feel good and look good. Please keep your head up and journal everyday to get the thoughts out of your head,it helps ….trust me. Fight for yourself to be happy. Give yourself some credit, I know you have had hard times and you got through it. You are strong please believe in your ability to overcome this moment in time, that is what this is a moment in time and you will get through it and one day, you will be able to help someone who is feeling like you. Good luck my friend and update on your progress, if you don’t mind:)
Erin-hugs. 🙂July 1, 2014 at 6:16 am #60033
LJ & Chelsea,
Thank you for considering my input! I really do understand and it is scary! When I finished nursing and started my job I was so afraid I got ill and wanted to crawl under a bridge and hide. I knew my skills but felt like I knew nothing. I found out that every new nurse had been there. I am excited to hear how you both prevail, please update me if you don’t mind. Just remember one thing, someone out there cares!
P.s. I love both of your names!!June 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm #59993
Dear sentimental sister:);
Hello, my name is Erin and I live in the states. I am replying to your post because of the simple fact that we are both alike in many ways. I spend a lot of time reminiscing about the past because it is a comfortable place for me as well. My relationship ended for different reasons we were together for years and it’s difficult. I would like to help if I can to provide a tiny bit of insight to help get these times. One thing that gives me anxiety, or used to, is being powerless over almost everything. Don’t worry you are right where you were supposed to be this journey that you were on is uniting you with a beautiful intelligent strong woman that you are meant to be. Can you recall an event in your life that was difficult, in which you were troubled at first yet you persevered and when it was over you felt a ill’ stronger? I have been through many painful changes and what I’ve learned about them they are designed for personal growth.
I am actually a bit excited for you because this is your journey you’re starting life now, everything up to now was preparation and now you’re educated and you have a job! You are an independent woman with something to offer this world. Since you cannot change the fact that your life has completely changed then let go and embrace this. You will learn the most when hurting and this is growing and this pass. When I’m uncomfortable I just try to remember those this too shall pass and I journal everything to get it out of my head and onto paper that way when I look back on these times I can see that I got through it and I’m better person because of it.
A lot of people would agree that going to university is hard and you got through that and now you’re working and you’re on your own independent and that’s hot!!!! 🙂
So chin up ,smile and hold your head up because you have every reason to,you are strong. For me, I’m uncomfortable with Change because I don’t think I have what it takes to do something- someway somehow it leads back to having a low self-esteem that’s why I’m kind of codependent and hang onto a person,place, or thing that feels safe. Write letters to your friend, go get your self done up, hair -nails etc. or maybe buy yourself a new outfit something to help you feel good. You might learn to like these people that you’re living you never know – you may reconnect with this fella. You can still remain friends and see each other on Holiday, just trust and believe in yourself stay positive join a gym or something in your community where you could meet new people or volunteer that will help you to feel apart of. Best of luck to you my friend. Stay strong,smile when you want to cry….Yoga is helpful for balance. I know you will be great!!!! These are the days you will grow the most. Embrace this with faith and positivity and watch what happens-Xoxo hugs
With warm wishes,
email@example.com, update your status or if you need to vent.
If you have Instagram my name is butterflynurse78
Be wellJune 29, 2014 at 2:37 pm #59863
Dear Broke up recently…sad;
Hello my name is Erin, very nice to meet you and thank you for sharing your story. I hope you don’t mind if I share with you my experience ,strength, &hope and also please feel free to message me if you would like to talk in the future. I would like to add a disclaimer to please forgive any punctuation errors as my goal here is to simply help if I can. Congratulations on moving on to grad school that is going to take up a lot of your time. I can imagine I just went back to school and it’s been a long time since I’ve been out so that’s why I forgot a lot of the grammar and punctuation rules of thumb. I would like to be the devils advocate here and also inspire you to take a look deep inside within yourself take time to write down your daily thoughts, breakdown pros and cons of this fellow and also write down a list of things that you would want qualities that you would want to have in your future life partner, whether or not he is intelligent, family oriented , ect. First things first we must take care of you and your anxiety and unsettled heart you are the most important part of this equation, you matter!!! It sounds like you really do care for this person and he knows that whether or not you believe it he does, he just needs time to deal with the emotions of it.
I used to be very codependent and that allowed me to stay in a relationship I wasn’t at all happy about,that is no way to live. So in your situation and instead of being upfront and honest (which is very commendable), I would’ve stayed in a relationship where I wasn’t happy and that’s not fair to either party.You can write him a letter just simply stating that you love him as a as a person that you’re just unsure right now and please don’t write you out of his life for good just give you time or you can send him a text message stating I just want you to know that I care about you and you hope one day you will connect again. I don’t know about you but I always thought that love would be this amazing feeling something magical where you just knew without a shadow of a doubt like it hits you and all of a sudden you cannot live without this person,? that, is love right? I want you to know that that feeling does exist,I have it now for my boyfriend but it took almost 2 years I don’t know why I stayed I liked the way he treated me, he was kind of more like a friend I wasn’t extremely attracted to him and now I’m madly in love with him and it’s exciting and I want to spend the rest my life with him. Is much older than me I never expected it to go this far but it did. The funny thing is I don’t even desire another man and haven’t, we been together for years.
I guess my point is be good to yourself and give this time,if you’ve already let me know that you care and hope you can talk again then just give him some time and be good to yourself. Exercise,take care of that anxiety ,right down your feelings-what you want and what you don’t one or prosing cons list and also know that sometimes that magical feeling takes time. And sometimes some of us might feel like we don’t deserve it and or look past what is right in front of us you know the difference. WhenI don’t know something I just have to do my research (soul search) you didn’t do anything wrong my dear you were just simply trying to prevent the catastrophe please don’t be yourself up. Everything will turn out alright. Take time to get to what you want out of life and what you want out of life partner, these things aren’t always easy to figure out but you’re smart ,I know you’ll do great. Feel free to contact me if you wish and thank you for letting me share my opinions and experiences…Best of luck and take care
Friend:)June 28, 2014 at 5:56 pm #59829
Hello, and thank you so much for your wisdom on this matter, it is very helpful. I wanted to comment on self-image because it something actually struggled with for a long time maybe even most of my life span ;when I chose to embark on my transformation I didn’t realize the most important thing…. To love myself through the process and to be patient with myself. Low self-esteem is a very real and serious matter. My personal reason for having experience with this was childhood trauma. It took me a long time to realize that beauty on the outside comes directly from developing a beautiful inside. This is solely my opinion, but I was overweight and felt horrible about myself and would constantly daydream of being someone else.
Someone very wise came up to me and said look in this mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful (which seem like a very silly thing to do but there is true power in that action), I didn’t understand it at the time how looking ridiculous ,in front of someone else to boot ,would improve my self-image. I guess that goes along with thoughts become our actions and whatever we put out there is has more effect on what we feel inside at least I think anyway. I’m not anyone special just someone with some knowledge about self-loathing. I began to exercise little by little mainly for depression, thinking something is going to give wanted to give myself a shot anyway – each little talk to people that were positive. I realized that all my friends were mostly negative nellies that would rather wake up with a cup of go back to bed-or gossip about other’s misfortune- then wake up with a cup of sunshine. This took me back to the phrase you are who you hang with. I found that these things had a little truth to them. I began to surround myself with positive people( even if even if it’s someone that gets paid by the hour to be nice to people) it was what I needed. When others noticed a change in me, I began to notice a lot of positive feedback and I was able to help other people, which made me feel wonderful. I just wish I could help someone who might be feeling like I’ve felt for a long time I wasted so many years putting myself down I didn’t need any enemies I was hard enough on myself life is too short what is the point there is no such thing supermodels are airbrushed and look they can’t even eat, Ever! I love you and I wish you all the sunshine and rainbows this world has to offer….xo
P.s. Remember renting videos the phrase “please be kind-rewind”? How about just…..Be Kind, to thyself and others….
- This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Erin.