June 30, 2014 at 2:34 pm #59982
I’m new to this forum, but I felt the need to join because I’m feeling a little lost at the minute. One thing to know about me is that I find it really hard to cope with change (big or small), mainly because I’m a very sentimental person.
As the title of this post suggests, lots of things are changing in my life at the moment. I’ve recently finished university and I’ve started a new job. This week, I’ve also had to say goodbye to my boyfriend of 3 years as he’s moved back home with his family after finishing uni. He doesn’t live in England and long distance can be tough. He and I shared a flat which I’ve also had to move out of this week. In a nutshell, I’ve been catapulted out of university, out of the comfort of my nice flat with my long-term boyfriend and into a new house with new people and into a new job.
Does anyone have any tips or advice on how to stop feeling home sick in every sense of the manner?
Thankyou for taking the time to ready my post 🙂
-LJ.June 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm #59993ErinParticipant
Dear sentimental sister:);
Hello, my name is Erin and I live in the states. I am replying to your post because of the simple fact that we are both alike in many ways. I spend a lot of time reminiscing about the past because it is a comfortable place for me as well. My relationship ended for different reasons we were together for years and it’s difficult. I would like to help if I can to provide a tiny bit of insight to help get these times. One thing that gives me anxiety, or used to, is being powerless over almost everything. Don’t worry you are right where you were supposed to be this journey that you were on is uniting you with a beautiful intelligent strong woman that you are meant to be. Can you recall an event in your life that was difficult, in which you were troubled at first yet you persevered and when it was over you felt a ill’ stronger? I have been through many painful changes and what I’ve learned about them they are designed for personal growth.
I am actually a bit excited for you because this is your journey you’re starting life now, everything up to now was preparation and now you’re educated and you have a job! You are an independent woman with something to offer this world. Since you cannot change the fact that your life has completely changed then let go and embrace this. You will learn the most when hurting and this is growing and this pass. When I’m uncomfortable I just try to remember those this too shall pass and I journal everything to get it out of my head and onto paper that way when I look back on these times I can see that I got through it and I’m better person because of it.
A lot of people would agree that going to university is hard and you got through that and now you’re working and you’re on your own independent and that’s hot!!!! 🙂
So chin up ,smile and hold your head up because you have every reason to,you are strong. For me, I’m uncomfortable with Change because I don’t think I have what it takes to do something- someway somehow it leads back to having a low self-esteem that’s why I’m kind of codependent and hang onto a person,place, or thing that feels safe. Write letters to your friend, go get your self done up, hair -nails etc. or maybe buy yourself a new outfit something to help you feel good. You might learn to like these people that you’re living you never know – you may reconnect with this fella. You can still remain friends and see each other on Holiday, just trust and believe in yourself stay positive join a gym or something in your community where you could meet new people or volunteer that will help you to feel apart of. Best of luck to you my friend. Stay strong,smile when you want to cry….Yoga is helpful for balance. I know you will be great!!!! These are the days you will grow the most. Embrace this with faith and positivity and watch what happens-Xoxo hugs
With warm wishes,
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Be wellJune 30, 2014 at 6:16 pm #59999
I am touched by your thoughtful response, thankyou so much for your kind words of wisdom 🙂 In the morning, I am going to write down some of the things you said and really take them in. Your comments on how change encourages personal growth definitely resonate with me and whilst this chapter of my life feels daunting at times, you have certainly made me look at things in a more positive way.
I’m ever so greatful,
Best wishes and kind thoughts to you,
-LJ.June 30, 2014 at 6:57 pm #60001
I just wanted to say that I feel the exact same way as you! I also just graduated from college and feel like this is a very scary time with lots of changes that I don’t know how to deal with. It made me feel a little better to know that other people out there feel the same way as me!
And Erin, I also found your post very encouraging. Thank you!July 1, 2014 at 6:16 am #60033ErinParticipant
LJ & Chelsea,
Thank you for considering my input! I really do understand and it is scary! When I finished nursing and started my job I was so afraid I got ill and wanted to crawl under a bridge and hide. I knew my skills but felt like I knew nothing. I found out that every new nurse had been there. I am excited to hear how you both prevail, please update me if you don’t mind. Just remember one thing, someone out there cares!
P.s. I love both of your names!!July 6, 2014 at 2:45 pm #60286
Thanks again for your kind words and Chelsea: I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one feeling a little lost at the minute! I’ve been feeling really strange all day today. Its an intense home sick kind of feeling again, mixed with loneliness. I’m not literally alone, I’m living with others but I’m finding it really hard to be apart from my boyfriend. I suppose you could say he was my main source of emotional support and it’s difficult not having that when I’m needing it most, especially with everything new happening in my life all at once.
I know phonecalls and facebooking etc are options but I guess sometimes you just want someone to physically be here with you through a crazy new journey. I’ve had a lump in my throat all day. The idea of not knowing when or IF he will come back into my life is something I’m finding very hard. I’m trying to surround myself with friends but all I need right now is my boyfriend. I’m having a pretty sad day but I hope you are all feeling ok!
Being a part of this forum is certainly a big comfort, it’s great to hear from you guys 🙂
-LJ.July 6, 2014 at 4:03 pm #60288
Good to hear from you! I think I know how you feel, I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately. Especially when it comes to your boyfriend, I know how hard that can be. A few months ago, I got out of a relationship that lasted throughout college. It’s been tough for me too, since he was my main source of emotional support as well. However, it is really good that you are trying to spend time with your friends. I wish I could do that too, but none of mine from college live near me, which just adds to my loneliness. Use your friends for support as much as you can, even though you miss your boyfriend. If anything, they can maybe provide a distraction from everything that’s changing at the moment. Just remember, things will get better with time! (I need to remind myself of this too!) 🙂
-ChelseaJuly 6, 2014 at 4:30 pm #60289
Thankyou for your response, you’re totally right about time being the biggest healer – I wish I wasn’t so impatient! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely too, I can’t even imagine having to go through this without my friends. I hope you’re okay. Overcoming this strange, uncertain time in our lives will only make us stronger and better prepared for change. After all, life is change. Things have to move forward and we will learn to adapt to this. I’m happy we can understand each other’s difficulties and help each other.
If ever you’re feeling like it’s all too much to handle, I like to take a bit of time to write a list of all the positives in my life. I really do believe that making the effort to be positive can change things. That said, its also important to allow yourself to be sad and to really feel that emotion. I always feel better after a good cry – holding it in has never worked for me! I think that acknowledging your sadness is an important step to overcoming it. I keep my ‘positive’ lists in my purse and make sure that I can read them whenever I need to.
I’m thankful you reached out to me and I’m here if ever you need to vent at all 🙂 WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS!
-LJJuly 6, 2014 at 6:50 pm #60299
Thank you for such a nice, comforting post! It makes me feel better knowing that there are other people out there going through the same struggles as me. Sometimes I look around and it seems as if everyone else has their lives completely put together, which makes me feel panicked and even more alone. It’s nice to know that someone understands what I’m going through. I’m so glad we found this site and can support each other!
I really like your idea of making a list of positive things and carrying it around. I definitely will start doing that. And you are right – going through challenging times is what will ultimately make us stronger. Change is just so difficult! And I agree that sometimes a good cry can really help. Lately, I’ve been feeling like crying a lot – but I try to hold it in so that my family doesn’t worry about me. I like that I can open up to you here and just say exactly what I’m feeling. It seems like I wake up everyday with butterflies in my stomach – that uncomfortable sense of sadness mixed with anxiety and nervousness. I hope it goes away soon.
We must remember that we will eventually be okay. And I am here anytime you need to vent, too!