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Help save my marriage, my wife doesn’t love me.

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  • June 20, 2019 at 2:10 pm #300033
    Darren
    Participant

    Anita,

    I think you misunderstood me when I said I also made mistakes. I did not have an affair nor did I hit my wife. What I meant was the mistake that instigates my wife a behavior last year in Canada which I’ve mentioned in my earlier posts.

    She he told me the main problem that started everything was how back in Canada, my parents were saying how my wife wouldn’t always greet them and how she is always on her phone like she is waiting for someone. I confronted my wife and she got upset because she felt I immediately sided with my parents and didn’t care to listen to her side of the story. She felt like I wasn’t there to support her and that is also her reason for having the affair. She thought the other guy was very understanding and she felt he was the only person at that time she can confide to.

    I did not side with my wife, instead, I just took my parents words at face value and when they ask why my wife doesn’t greet them or why is she always on her phone, I immediately confronted her about it and never asked to hear her side of the story which I should’ve done.

    June 20, 2019 at 2:38 pm #300043
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Darren:

    Well, when you sided with your parents your now estranged wife did not tell you that what your parents said is not true, that is, that she did greet them or that she was polite and wasn’t on her phone all the time.

    So what your parents said was true, no?

    What she did say was that it was your fault that she had the affair.

    What all this means is that your estranged wife disrespected your parents and you. She disrespected you in extreme ways, not caring about how you feel at all. You want to save a marriage that does not exist, so you make believe that it exists, that she made mistakes and you made mistakes of about equal seriousness.

    And you are willing, seems to me, to accept abuse from your estranged wife.

    This is not good for your health or for your daughter. Make-believe thinking/ wishful thinking will not serve you well, it never does long term (beyond a moment of self induced comfort, that is).

    anita

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