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Holding in Feelings is becoming a habit

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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #81827
    Doreen Dawson
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I am needing some advice or guidance on how to express feelings more, especially when it comes to a problem, issue or something that bothers me. I tend to just hold my feelings in to the point of frustration. I notice this is becoming a habit.

    How can I make it a habit to just say how I feel at that moment instead of holding my thoughts back?

    ( In all honesty, most people view me as too nice, how can I change that without changing who I am )

    – Doreen

    #81829
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hi Doreen – is this habit causing a problem for you? or to the people that you interact with?

    #81830
    Doreen Dawson
    Participant

    Hi Salisha,

    It is more towards people I interact with, where they either constantly negative or just don’t respect me.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Doreen Dawson.
    #81832
    Saiisha
    Participant

    I have the opposite problem, where I’m a bit too outspoken about my feelings, and let me tell you – “they” don’t like that either! But I pick and choose the situations I want to respond to.

    We can’t change “them”, but we can change ourselves, right? And if you’re feeling like they don’t respect you, could it be possible that you don’t respect yourself enough? I think you’ll notice that when you start respecting yourself, that they will too.

    So have you tried this – when you want to say something in response to someone, what happens when you actually say it? Can you try it? Maybe with a simple scenario? Another way would be to send an email to them later explaining how you felt, but obviously not all relationships / acquaintances have email communications with you, so you might have to pick one to practice with.

    If you can’t even think of facing them with your feelings, maybe try standing in front of a mirror and practice saying out loud what you feel. Or journal about it.

    The main thing is to express who you are! If you’re interested in Chakras, it sounds like your throat chakra may be blocked. If you’re interested, I could talk more about it. If not, I won’t 🙂

    #81833
    Doreen Dawson
    Participant

    Now that I am looking inward, I am seeing I haven’t been respecting myself much, I overthink and constantly put myself down. I am sure this doesn’t help with any situation including people I interact with. I will try to focus more on myself and improve, to see if this helps with my interactions with others.

    I feel it would be a good start to try to write an email to a person who has been bothering me and start this process as well as practice out loud to myself before dealing with them in person, as well as writing my thoughts in a journal.

    I appreciate you pushing me in the right direction on this.

    I am curious about the Chakras you mentioned, how do these work?

    #81837
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Oh good, I’m glad those ideas appeal to you Doreen! Yes, try all those and see what you get results with, and do more of it. And the more you start opening up, the easier it gets.

    Well – chakras are invisible energy nodes in our bodies. If you can imagine all your thoughts, emotions, and feelings registered and stored somewhere in your body immediately, the greater the flow of energy through the energy system, the more open your awareness. A weak or blocked flow of energy means that your life might go unnoticed or unexperienced (fully).

    There are 7 chakras, and one of them is called the Vishuddha Chakra in Sanskrit, which pertains to the throat – This is where you live your truth, accept and express who you are. Here’s where you’re probably experiencing a block in energy – in claiming responsibility for your life, to voice out your message. The throat chakra is where we stand up for our principles, and live them. When you take on this responsibility, you will understand that you MUST live in alignment with who you are, and your values! Sing out loud, wear more blue, sapphires, aquamarines, etc. and do the Hum meditation.

    A couple of links that might help:

    If this feels like woo-woo mumbo-jumbo, ignore it! I won’t mind 🙂

    #81843
    Doreen Dawson
    Participant

    I feel a a lot better with these different approaches in my arsenal to be better prepared and comfortable to speak my mind. I don’t feel so lost. Thank you so much for your advice!

    I am curious about trying the chakra techniques as well. I might incorporate the practices into my daily life and see if this brings me closer to expressing myself even more.

    You have been so helpful Saiisha.

    #81847
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Awesome Doreen! Whether you follow through with all of them, or one of them, as long as it gets you closer to speaking your truth, the closer you come to discovering who you are, and not hiding from yourself.

    Namaste, Saiisha

    #81849
    Annie
    Participant

    Hi Doreen,

    Is there a way you can get away from the people who are constantly negative or disrespectful towards you? Before that, are you being honest with yourself? When someone is disrespectful, do you think that the person is being disrespectful towards you in that moment or do you push the thought away thinking you were just over reacting or that you should be “nice”.

    It’s wonderful that you’ve come to this realization that internalizing all of your feelings are making you feel frustrated. You wrote a little bit about self-respect in a previous post. Do you think you deserve respect? Do you think you are a respectable person regardless of what others say/think of you? Start by respecting yourself and with that you will be able to stand up for yourself. Validate yourself rather than seeking validation from others. Who cares if others view you as being “too nice”. Do you want to be nice? If that’s what you want to be, then that’s what you should be rather than change for them. You can be nice AND assertive.

    Start small and challenge your own thoughts. Create a mantra for yourself (e.g. I deserve respect, I will not tolerate others speaking to me this way, I will speak up when I feel ____).

    #81861
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Doreen:

    You wrote that holding your feelings in is becoming a habit, you mean it started recently, a new behavior of holding your feelings in? What happened recently that caused you to start this new way, holding your feelings inb? What happened to cause you to change from expressing your feelings to not?

    anita

    #81902
    Joe Guerra
    Participant

    Hello Doreen,
    You look rather young so if I may let me give you some advice, 2 things are necessary to live in today’s world Water and Belief in yourself, for many years I haven’t believed in myself and I was never able to break the habit..although there are things I wish I had done, I was never able to pull the trigger and spent a lifetime looking for answers of which the only real answer is to go for your dream and if you fail, you fail, but at least you tried..But here is the kicker..don’t give it a half assed try, do it with conviction, and never even pay attention to those who demean you, but there are always people who will give you things, do things for you, massage your ego and their payoff is they get you to do things that go against who you are and because these people are so persuasive and seem to know everything and everybody(this is also demeaning) you have a tendency to believe in them rather than you..I have fallen into that trap more than I care to admit.so if someone says something to you that you disagree with, just tell them that’s a nice idea, but I have a different take on the subject..do this a few times and your life will turn around and if it doesn’t take that glass of Water I talked about in my opening and pour it on their head

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