My husband and I had to move in with his parents last year. I didn’t think it was going to be this bad. They’re very polite towards me, but they treat him like a teenager still. There’s no mature discussion they can have with their son, they don’t talk to him with respect and they don’t listen to him. They make all kinds of ridiculous rules to try and control his “behavior” just like your parents turning off the internet because they don’t like your bedtime??? It’s insane. It’s like having their child move back in sent them decades back in maturity and now they’re acting like the control freaks they once had to be. (Meanwhile his sister has been living at home her whole life and she’s still their spoiled princess)

I focus on the finish line. We both get degrees in one year and we will be gone then no matter what. ( When I’m really upset I tell myself I’m never going to let them see their grandchildren lol )

For you, blackage, I think the most important thing is making a social life for yourself. If you had friends to talk to, spend time with once in a while, I think you can handle your living situation. I’ve never tried it, but I heard meetup.com is a great way to meet people in your area.

And when you’re feeling super frustrated with your parents, try and focus all that energy on getting out of there aka getting a job. Even if you got a part time job in the meanwhile it would get you out of the house and away from your parents, and give you some spending money for your independence :), you’d meet people… hope that helps good luck! stay positive and just never give up improving yourself. look to the future

I am in a similar situation. Separated from spouse, who made it clear that I was not wanted at my home. I fought leaving my marital home, bec I knew my Mom wasn’t thrilled at the idea of me coming back. She’s pretty independent and had the house to herself. However, I realized that my living situation was doing more harm than good to my well being. So I moved out and filed for divorce.
Coming back to my childhood home takes a lot of inner strength. You may resent your situation, yourself, and b3eing at home is often a constant reminder of who you once were. It feels like your dreams (or failure to achieve them) are being thrown back in your face. I felt trapped, depressed, and stuck. That’s the worse feeling ever. Here’s what I did to help myself.

1) I got out of it by having an “attitude of gratitude.” I know it sounds cliche, but every morning I began to think of three things I’m grateful for. They weren’t deep, and sometimes it was a struggle. But I had a place to lay my head, I wasn’t on the street, my dog was safe with me, and I was in good health. Sometimes I thanked God for a candy bar or for finding a dollar in a coat pocket. These gratitude items are literally my saving grace. When the world sucks and I feel moody and lonely, I allow myself to be in that mood for a short while, but I remind myself of new things to appreciate-the moon, good tea, a good book on my kindle, etc.

2) Also, I try to focus on the outcome I want, rather than the negative situation I’m in. Putting energy towards what you want will bring you closer to your desires. Focusing on what you hate will only increase your dissatisfaction, because you’re feeding the problem, rather than a solution.

These are methods that have helped me out. I hope they help you too.

Blackage,

This environment is extremely toxic for you, obviously. Let their attitudes remind you of all the things you never want to do to your own children or family, remember these things. Every experience is a learning opportunity…. Of course you know that. You are there right now for a reason- you have to find it. Find the reason and move on. Your job from now ON is to get the hell out of that place and do what YOU want with your life. Not what THEY want. Crowd pleasing is going to make you a bitter and ugly person if you let them control you any longer. If they’re threatening your internet usage- which is almost threatening your life, future, and well being(your only escape from their hell and ABUSE). I can tell you right now, you’d receive more love, compassion, and encouragement by living in a homeless shelter. Im not joking you. This kind of life you have dealt with has gone on too long. In all actuality… I dont see them as “help”ing you anyways. Cut the cord and get away from them. Sad to say.. they are the toxic influences Im sure they once warned you about. Im wondering where you live… what state? Im guessing Ca or somewhere that is really hard to get ahead or stay afloat(ca is where im from orig I moved out of state for a better life). Either way… I wish you the best. I hope you get out of there before they can dig their claws any deeper into your self esteem etc. This situation is like you drinking poison. You might survive a little while but you sure wont thrive. Shut them out. Shut them down. Im so sorry you were given parents like these. I have family who makes me feel like a big piece of garbage too. They also were mean, ugly, hateful people-still are. The quality of person I have become has far exceeded any dream they could dream. I know who I am. I know what I am worth. And, their opinions dont measure my worth. I know this sounds somewhat immature but they can eat shit. I love myself and what I have to offer. Not everyone will, but as long as I like myself.. Ill be alright. (: