Hello, I wonder if some of you can share your struggles with your partner during this pandemic.

I have found that my partner and I are experiencing a large amount of issues that we never had to deal with before. Maybe before we were too distracted, or there was a lot going on and this pandemic has allowed us to self-reflect even more, or maybe this is normal and we are all dealing with similar things.

I want to leave here some of my struggles and hear what other people have to say.

My partner are I are both very independent people, we used to enjoy our independent lives as well as our time together. We had normal conflicts, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Now during the pandemic, we have lost the normalcy of what our independent lives used to be, forcing us to find new things, but the adaptation process has been painful. We don’t see friends as often and we don’t do the activities that we enjoyed to do. I enjoyed going to a meditation center in town once a week and meet people there, it was sacred to me. When the pandemic started, I tried to continue doing this online with a group, but less people kept showing up, and now I just do it alone, which is very isolating. He used to go out with friends a lot and his profession required interaction with people, that’s all gone now, leaving him craving for those interactions and noticing how I alone could not fulfill that. We quarantined together when the pandemic started and now it has been almost a full year, we moved in to a new place, that we both love, and although regularly is fun and nice to have a safe place, sometimes he and I are dealing with our individual struggles and are always looking for the other person to help us some how. He talks about his problems constantly and I listen, but can be very overwhelming, I miss my family that haven’t seen in two years now, this overwhelms him because he can perform the role of an entire family for me. I think we are both highly demanding people, with high expectations, and he wants things from me that I cannot give to him, like he wants me to figure out my situation in the country, but I am under a visa and will have to leave the country in less than a year. I already did everything I could and I have no more options to remain here. He has been very clear about not wanting to marry ever and I was so in-love, I thought that staying in the relationship will help me enjoy it for a bit longer, but the dooming notion that this will be over, is making me feel very anxious and resentful as well. I cannot become the woman he wants to marry (because he isn’t ready and he doesn’t want to marry) and he cannot become the partner I need now (because he has to focus in putting his life together first, before helping me). It’s really heartbreaking to deal with this. We love each other, however we want different things. All these issues have become more prominent during the pandemic, because we have more time to look at them, he struggles with depression and hasn’t really worked as much this year, because his work has been compromised due to Covid-19. I feel selfish when I am happy because I know he isn’t and that he’s struggling. I feel bad that I need things from him he cannot give to me. Sometimes I just want to run away and leave, but I also love him and I think of my commitment of unconditional love for him and I want to be with him so bad. This is really hurting me and both of us. We don’t have sex as often as we did before or find things to do that are fun and keep us in-love. sometimes we do have special moments together, to remind us why we are here for each other and I cherish those moments so much. however, I feel that this is becoming rare, and I am afraid of the moment when I have to leave and how traumatic that will be.

What are your struggles in your relationships? I would like to know so we can relate and so we can make these issues more normal.

Thanks for reading and thanks if you share!