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How do you get past being rejected by family members

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  • #354510
    Olga Stewart
    Participant

    I’ve been involved in a situation with my husband’s family members for a number of years now.  The cause of the situation is that I made a lot of mistakes in regards to how I behaved towards them.  As a consequence, some of these family members have rejected me and have made it clear that they want to be left alone.

    I realize I made a lot of mistakes.  Back then I wasn’t as mature and thoughtful as I am now.  I also was angry and very hurt.  So I acted out of a place of both rashness and thoughtlessness.

    For these past years, I have both been on medication and I have been seeing a counsellor (Well, actually two of them.  But I feel that the second of these two counsellors has helped me a lot more).  I’ve also tried to work on improving my behaviour, making amends, learning to forgive, taking better care of myself, dealing with my issues and being more open towards others.

    I have accomplished a lot.  And I do feel proud of that.

    Yet there is one issue that still plagues me:  How do I get past both knowing that these particular family members have rejected me and that I won’t ever be a part of their life?

    I know that when I’m confronted by this particular situation that I feel upset, hurt and depressed.  I then start to both be hard on myself and to feel sorry for myself.  And this is a cycle that keeps continuing each time this particular situation comes up.

    So in my long winded way (and I apologize for the length of this post.  But if you have read until here, then I do thank you), my question is this:  How do you get past being rejected by family members?

    Thanks for both listening and reading.
    Olga/Maddie

    #354526
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Olga/Maddie:

    “some of these family members have rejected me and have made it clear that they want to be left alone”- do you think that they want you to leave them alone forever, or maybe it is time limited preference, possibly, depending on changes made?

    “How do you get past being rejected by family members?”- accept it best you can, take it with an attitude of calm acceptance, as in part of the serenity prayer that says: “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”.

    anita

    #354534
    Olga Stewart
    Participant

    They won’t speak to me.  So I don’t know what they want in regards to leaving them alone.

    And thank you for your answer to my question, as I do appreciate that.  :).

    #354594
    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, Olga. Post again anytime.

    anita

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