I would not say: stop moaning. I say, do not be passive/ submissive and do not be passive-aggressive. Nothing with passive in it. Be assertive. Stand up for yourself. Stand up straight, keep your eyes in theirs and say it like it is, direct, what do you have to lose? At worst you will end up again without a job, you already are and have been often unemployed for many years. So becoming assertive is not going to destroy a history of job stability. The old ways, passive and passive aggressive (anything with passive) did not work. This is proven. All to gain and nothing to lose asserting!
I just read your post: “I think my conclusion is:
it is better to have self-respect and no job than a job and no self-respect.
Self-respect is so important in life. We cop out too much just for money/survival.”
Yes, yes, yes. Nothing like self respect. When you experience it you know, you know then it makes life worth living. I like the statement the way I mean it, that I rather die on my feet than live on my knees.
That sample exchange you wrote for me, would take a huge shift for me. That is really strong, for how I usually portray my persona. You;ve pinpointed a core issue for me this morning, Dr Anita. As a counsellor, you are the best kept secret on the net.
Just got your last post (posting at the same time)- you are welcome, dear, precious Jack. Anytime, give me a sample exchange and I will dive into it with all my might….
I love the idea of an assertive Jack, standing up for himself the whole way, whatever it takes! Anywhere, everywhere, with everyone. Practice it every chance you get. At times it will be uncomfortable, but at one point you will realize the payoff is so incredible, you will be motivated to assert more and more… and as you do, you WILL find yourself standing tall.