Long story short- I’m a 33 year old single woman who is a professional.
I never had a proper relationship with till now. I either fall for men who are emotionally unavailable men. Its only off-late that I have discovered this pattern of mine.
I also discovered that I tend to ‘like’ almost all the men who show little kindness towards me or is friendly towards me. I really don’t know whether they are being friendly or interested in me. Many a times I get confused and I ask them and they tell that they were just friends of mine and they leave. Im left with no man and no friends.
I have also discovered that while growing up I never got the attention from my folks or family & hence whoever showed me some attention were considered the best in my book. Later these people(family & friends) have taken advantage of me and has emotionally abused me. Once I broke those chains I began to understand the real me, my problems, my patterns etc.
But Im still stuck wherein I start liking he guy when he is little friendly towards me.
And I literally don’t know what to do about this. As I mentioned before, all I could do was to ask them directly and they get embarrassed and leave.
Right now there is this man and we are in a professional setting. He seems friendly with everyone. I wasn’t sure whether he liked me or not because he never helped me with anything. He just talks. He called me for a movie but never left on time. Basically he stood me up, but he did go out with one other lady whom he already knew from past.
I avoided him completely after that and I spoke to him when I was spoken to. Now he is in another city for another assignment. One day when I spoke to this lady, I asked how this man was because he always behaved not so friendly and helpful towards me. She told me that he is a fine man and she thinks that he likes me because he takes time to come and talk to me. But I told her that he is always like that with everyone.
Later for some official work, I had to contact him and surprisingly he was quite friendly towards me. All the communication was through messages and mails.
And as usual, my stupid thoughts got back to me and I find dreaming about a possible relationship.
I know this is not right and I suffer at the end of each such episodes.
This man is going to come back next week and I don’t want to feel embarrassed in front of him.
How to tell myself that this is absurd and I should be more mature about things like this ?
(I know that its my need for attention that leads me to think all this).
Any advice would be of great help.