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How not to see life as a stressful challenge?

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  • November 24, 2013 at 10:01 am #45707
    Tarento
    Participant

    Dear friends

    I have been struggling with depression for a couple of years now. As a 19-year old, this depression came with a lot of anxiety and made me suffer terribly. I neglected many good friends, lost a lover, did not take care of myself and just missed out on life in general.
    I have been working with this depression for quite some time now. After going into therapy and writing my thoughts down and taking up meditation, I realized how much of a challenge my life has become. Everyday I had to maintain goals, and if I did not reach them everyday, I would get very mad at myself and feel like a failure.

    For instance, I used to bodybuild; everyday I had to eat the correct amount of calories, make sure I had enough sleep and never ever ever miss a training day. Whenever I was sick, I forced the correct amount of calories into my mouth, so I would not lose any progress that I made before. When I missed a training, I would feel terrible all week because I could not make as much progression as I would like to. This lifestyle was so unhealthy, both physically and mentally. The only time when I was happy was, when somebody complimented me on my looks. I got so competitive about muscles that one day I became terribly sick. This lasted for months. I lost all my muscles and became very thin. The doctors could not understand why I became sick. My parents adviced me to go to a therapist who helped me realise what I have been doing wrong all this time.

    This is just one example. My life is full of these goals that I make myself live up to and somehow I forgot how to enjoy myself. Everything is about what others think of me. Life is unbearable this way. Everyday is so stressfull and difficult to enjoy.

    My question is; How not to see life as a challenge, but as a beautiful gift that we should enjoy? And how do I learn to enjoy again? Society is so competitive! When I do not take part in this competition, I feel inferior to the others. I want to let this all go and enjoy myself again

    Kind Regards
    Tarentos

    November 24, 2013 at 11:48 am #45708
    Hee
    Participant

    The answer to your question: don’t look at life as a stressful challenge.

    It’s funny how we think that by getting somewhere, like from point A to point B, we’ll be truly happy. We pass point B numerous times in our lives.

    Be merciful in your goals. No one’s perfect, and everyone… and I mean everyone fails and don’t make it but only the few keep on trying.

    All you really need in yourself to not feel like a failure is the will to get rid of those negative temptations, thoughts, feelings, etc. and to stay on the “positives”.

    If your life is challenging, then “un-challenge” certain aspects; If you’re mad by not reaching your goals, maybe your goals are not meant to be achieved; If you like compliments based on looks only, then…. I don’t know what to say about that. I think they complimented you on the discipline you took to get your body the way it looked. So keep yourself disciplined.

    …..But life and in fitness training, and etc., whatever you do, you don’t have to be a robot to achieve your goals. Be flexible in your spirit and your heart. You can achieve same goals by taking those two roads, but one is more “fulfilling to the soul” vs. “empty inside”. Hope for the best, and may grace be on your journey.

    Namaste

    🙂

    November 24, 2013 at 10:33 pm #45784
    Apurva Satokar Gokhale
    Participant

    Dear friend…it isnt uncommon to look at life as a competition, as a challenge in which we see ourselves constantly struggling with a fear we might loose out on our position in the competition…this is how society conditions us to think and look at life…

    To make life feel good one needs to fundamentally change the way one looks at life…its easier said than done and in times of crisis it could be difficult but certainly not impossible…

    Do remember

    Life is not a competition, nor is it an exam…dont compare your life with others…they have their set of challenges you might not be aware of…your life is yours..its unique…others opinions, compliments, criticism does not matter to the extent that it governs your happiness… happiness is a state of mind which should not depend on any external factor or conditions…try to figure out things that make you happy through only your actions without any input from others

    Sense of accomplishment definitely makes a person happy and it becomes achievable with short term and realistic goals that are not bound by a time limit…the happiness a fulfilled goal gives should be dependent only on the quality of fulfillment not on the quantity of goals or the time limit in which it is fulfilled….

    Look at the universe as a friend and not as full of people who are out to get you

    A shift in thinking takes time but you should definitely not take time to begin…

    Good luck

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