Sia,

I’m sorry for the challenges and suffering you’re experiencing, and can understand why you’re looking for abundance. Sometimes when we’ve become really stressed, we wish for abundance so we can settle those spinning thoughts and feelings. If only we had rs 500000 in the bank, a partner that loved us, a wide circle of friends… then, finally, we could rest and enjoy the life we’re living. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Consider that perhaps you’re experiencing exhaustion with signs of burnout. You run run run run run run. You push your body and mind well past tiredness, well past what is reasonable to do. This leaves us unable to find rest easily. Said differently, your body is running from here to there, and your mind runs even faster from past to future, fear and fantasy. Where is the resting? You’re even running in your dreams! Consider that almost anyone in your shoes would be the same… tired and looking for escape.

Don’t despair, dear sister, because there is always a path toward joy… and it is not like a task list of never ending needs that pushes you back under the blankets in the morning. Rather, its a matter of learning to let go and relax. Your body needs love, and you’ve been a little more like a task master. Its actually in the pushing and clinging that turns the world dark and stormy looking… when we are well rested, we can see the magic and beauty that flows through and around us.

That being said, its not as easy as wishing it into your life… or “feeling” abundant. You have to create the energy inside you. Its actually pretty easy! The first path is to bring the positive energy into your body. This done through self nurturing, such as taking a quiet bath, listening to soft music, or (especially) metta meditation. Some quiet space where you can set down the past, set down the future, and breathe, remember your divinity, and let go of the weight on your shoulders. Not husband, not career, not future, not past… sit and let those go, just for a time. Rest. Let the mind settle.

Next, one of my teachers showed me how the energy of joy is generosity. When we are chewing through our task list, we become exhausted, expend ourselves. When we are moving with curiosity, looking for ways to use our time to the benefit of ourselves and others, we become joyous and strong.

For instance, if you were to enter the room of someone who broke both her legs, you might see and experience two different views. One, the client is a task on the list, a series of actions you have to perform before the day is out. So you move around the room and do what is needed. By the end of the day, your body and mind are depleted, as you used up your energy on checking off tasks. The other view is seeing a sister on the bed, in a difficult predicament. As you see your sister suffering, your heart produces an abundance of inspiration and warmth, which you can open up to, use your moment to feel gratitude for your working legs, and give a little sparkle for your sister in need. Then, as you walk away, your heart is actually stronger, your peace deeper, because you both feel gratitude, both feel part of loving attention given to our family. Said differently, when we are dancing in joy and warmth, we do get tired, but we also get genuine rest, because the body is very satisfied in giving and sharing that warmth, that love.

If you need a kick start to your loving drive, consider searching YouTube for “guided metta meditation” and spend a half hour under their guidance and see what happens. Don’t be surprised if the warmth that arises fades quickly… with practice and time it stabalizes, especially when you use the warmth you find for the benefit of all beings. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt

hello DEAR Sia
i can say i can relate to you in many sense .. thanks for sahring… but sometimes we just have to be what we feel..without having judging us for being the way we are..
like ..if you are angry…allow yourself to be angry…dont crib..dont judge yourself…
please start with writing in a journal…write all what u feel throughout day..either as paras or small points… Please start working on the issue..rather than thinking over it long…. we are here with you..and you will come out of this issue…as Winner my dear Sia….
running short of time…. sorry .. would revert to u asap
god bless..