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How to find a really good therapist?

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • December 31, 2018 at 8:29 pm #271747
    Mimi
    Participant

    My mom just told me that a few days ago she was writing a suicide note in her car before grocery shopping.  She’s been dealing with a lot of grief (as have we all) since losing my sister (her favorite daughter) 6 years ago.  Most of the time she holds it together, but at times it gets bad.  I think if it wasn’t for my late sister’s son needing her, she maybe wouldn’t still be here.  I don’t know.  I need her, too, and she knows that, too.

    My mom, my husband, and I have all had some terrible and inept psychologists/psychiatrists, and only one really good one (but he’s dead now).

    Is there any site where you can get recommendations for really good therapists of any kind?

    Any way to get a really good one, and not keep having to try one after another?

    Seriously, it’s not like we are avoiding therapy by saying they suck – they have really sucked.  I don’t understand why they get licenses to do their jobs, some of these people.  They should be checked out more thoroughly, because ones we’ve been to have been grossly incompetent, or just pill pushers.

    Sorry to anyone who is a competent mental health professional.  If you are good at your job, then you know I’m not talking about you, and you probably know many people yourself who you think are denigrating your profession.

    Mimi

    January 1, 2019 at 6:27 am #271805
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mimi:

    Good to read from you again!

    You wrote about some of the therapists you encountered: “I don’t understand why they get licenses to do their jobs”- because universities need money to operate, so they are interested in getting a certain number of students to keep them operating. They are not about to … investigate who these students are, they  need the money, and the universities work with the licensing agencies to make sure their students will qualify for the certification.

    “They should be checked out  more thoroughly”- by whom? Problem is there aren’t that many psychotherapists that are that good.

    And so, we, clients have to check them out ourselves, by scheduling, hopefully a free session and in that session interview the therapist. A certificate is clearly not enough. So we have to ask questions. If I was you, I would ask questions about what the therapist believes, so to see if there is a fit between her/ his beliefs and  yours, to start with.

    Can you think of one or a few basic beliefs you have about people  and life that you need a therapist to believe the same,  or  very close to what you believe?

    anita

     

    January 1, 2019 at 6:43 am #271815
    nextsteps
    Participant

    Hello Mimi,

    I feel your frustration about not finding a goos therapist. It is frustrating and draining, especially at a time when that is the last thing you want. I met with two therapists face to face for sessions who I didnt click with at all and have had three online therapists. The first one left as she wasnt qualified, the second I thought we didnt get in as her response kinda was “just get over it” which didnt help. I currently use the american platform betterhelp. They have useful articles and my current therapist is lovely and I genuinly feel improvement after speaking to her. My only thing would be is that some of the previous therapists I have had have been religious and kind of pushed the “give yourself over to god and itll all be okay” idea. As someone who really isnt sure what faith to follow/believe I found that default answer hard as i didnt know that i wanted to believe in that in the first place or bave that kind of faith -for me that put me off e.g. that was a barrier between me and the therapist that i couldnt overcome without feeling like i was just lying about my beliefs, o i left.

     

    I hope you and your mum find a good, emphatic therapist soon.

    January 2, 2019 at 5:22 pm #272057
    Mimi
    Participant

    Anita, you’re right, it does make sense that a therapist would have to have similar beliefs, in order to help the person.

    nextsteps, yes, my mum would have a hard time dealing with any therapist who chose a religious perspective – she lost any faith she had when my sister died

    I will check out that site you mentioned.

    Thanks,

    Mimi

    January 3, 2019 at 6:06 am #272095
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Mimi. I hope you find a capable, empathetic and  hard working therapist.

    anita

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