Dear Priscilla:

There is a lot of personal biases/ prejudice (“because you have the wrong skin color, the wrong body type, the wrong status” that you mentioned) going on, of course. One course of action is the legal route. When you evaluate specific incidents, sometimes the reasoning there is not prejudice but something else. In your example with your supervisor offering to help your co-worker with the flyers but not you, maybe his/ her reasoning was that she needed help and you didn’t, because you are more capable. Maybe. If the latter was the supervisor’s reasoning, it doesn’t mean that in other incidents the supervisor was not motivated by prejudice.

When it is one of the things you mentioned: skin color, body type, status (legal immigrant/ citizen, I think you meant), again, legal action is one way to go as practiced prejudice is illegal at the workplace for one. Before taking legal action, if you are not sure of the reasoning/motivation, maybe ask, clarify, verify?

anita

Hello Priscilla,

I’m fighting the same battle as you are, and can relate. It is hard not to take things personally. It’s hard when you’re not given chances to advance in a job because you’re an immigrant, outsider, people automatically judging English isn’t your first language because you’re not of a certain skin colour (my personal experiences). I’ve gritted my teeth through them all. Vented about these situations to the people I’m close to.

Unfortunately some people are trolls who get satisfaction by making other people miserable –> the most important question is, are you going to give them the satisfaction? No way! I learnt not to take what people said seriously unless their actions proved what they said, they’d do. My current working environment consists of a number of people who speak “well”, but act poorly.

You sound like you’ve been working at your current job for a number of years now. What is it about your current job that makes you want to continue working there, if I may ask? I’m tolerating my current job because I want more experience in that field (I’ve been fighting to enter that field for years now, so I’m really tolerating what I’m currently experiencing at work). That’s what drives me.

Hana

Hi Priscilla,

I think job hunting is hard, especially with the economy nowadays and moreso in fields which are more competitive. You’re right in thinking right now better to have a job (albeit not great) than no job. Maybe you could also consider studying part time for another skill set as an option for career advancement/change of career in the future?

In work situations like ours, it may not be a good course of action to try rock the boat too much (getting into management’s bad books may cause a lot more than just being stuck in a position for years; a person may even not be considered for job/s because managements from different companies have communicated with each other). Yes, I agree it’s not great having to tolerate superiors which act in that way, and by not doing anything much  the bad behavior is likely to perpetuate. I’m not saying to become a doormat and allow people to walk over you but I would encourage fostering some good work relationships at the very least so that the bosses wouldn’t consider you as a scapegoat if troubles arise (should that situation arise, then leaving the job would be the better option for your own sake).

In your situation regarding the bosses agreeing with A, maybe if you could consider that your work is moving ahead (because “A also thinks so”), instead of the bosses saying no and your work can’t continue because you need your bosses’ approval –> it might be a good thing? Or in your original post the supervisor didn’t offer to help you with bringing the flyers to the meeting, but you think “It’s okay, I’m capable of bringing the flyers myself, with or without help!”

Take care!

Hana

Sadly, people look at such things regardless of the person’s coloration, etc.  It goes back and forth across ethnicities and has existed for longer than humans developed (basically the differentiation between like and not-like in the animal kingdom).  For all of the mental advancements of humanity, we still haven’t figured some of this stuff out.

I’ve had ideas shot down simply because I’m a “privileged white male”  with financial assets.  I’ve seen other people have ideas shot down, or accepted, simply because they are an “X” or a “Y” without any regard for the experience or lack thereof of the source.

If you feel like you aren’t getting a fair shake, I humbly suggest that you find another job.  Starting during law school, and continuing to the present day, I suffer(ed) from psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.  Had a bad flare up on my face during an interview with one law firm, and the person wouldn’t even shake my hand (you’d think that somebody with 7+ years of formal education would recognize that you aren’t going to “catch” psoriasis).  I felt terrible about the situation, and I let similar encounters affected my job search for a considerable period of time.  Then, I realized that instead of letting it bother me and allowing me to devalue myself, that I needed to take a different approach.  Found a place that didn’t care about such things, and wound up making more than several of the prior job openings would have paid.