Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is enjoying beautiful weather right now! 🙂

I warn you in advance that I am a downer in parts of this forum, so feel free to skip this. 😛

But this is what’s up:

I have a regret from the past that I have not been able to let go of because I haven’t taken the necessary steps to be freed from how I perceive the situation. I really want to make it clear, that my past actions came from making poor judgements. My intentions were not to afflict any harm for someone and I don’t know what further damage I would have created to a relationship.

What happened:
This is laughable, but I was drunk and hooked up with someone that I shouldn’t have because he had a girlfriend. *rolls eyes* This happened during the beginning of summer, so my terrible decision making continued since I agreed to fool around with him over the course of the summer.

I wasn’t intentionally trying to sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend. I don’t know her. I don’t have the intention of being with him either. He is attractive and I do feel sexually attracted to him. This is why I am fearful of interacting with him because I might feel naturally sexually attracted to him and I don’t need to make the same mistake twice. Furthermore, it’s difficult to comprehend an apology. I don’t know if she knows or not. I am completely ignorant if whether they still a couple. The only times I begin to worry, is when I think about the chances of seeing either one of them.

It’s been two summers since then. Therefore a lot of time has pasted. He’s moved out of state and we never kept in touch. He has graduated as the same degree as I will be, therefore, I’ve been living with the intense fear of him appearing/popping into my life again. Since it is very possible that I will see him again at a conference and again at my school for a reunion. I wouldn’t mind talking to him, but there is a lot of shame (I’m still thinking about him. I fear that I might start to break down and cry in front of him and haha what would be a way to handle myself if I did?), guilt, fears, and regretfulness that I have kept enclosed. However, if I do end up seeing him again, he deserves to see me for whatever I am.

This post is a good start to releasing negative energy from the past. It would been very thoughtful and meaningful to hear insights about moving on from past regrets. What are ways to not feel lost in regretful thinking about the decisions that you make in life? If you do think about a regret, how do you change you line of thinking to something positive?

All you give is much appreciated
Thank you,

Ashley