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How to not feel like you were born with the "short end of the stick" ?

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  • December 3, 2015 at 5:47 pm #88838
    Rose
    Participant

    I try so hard to do something and I mess up, people look at me weird, and I have been bullied, been stood up by guys I like, etc. Even today, I got several weird looks, especially when I said that my professor’s evaluation is “hard” but I meant to say it wasn’t hard (I probably said that due to being tired) and this girl rushed to get the seat, she almost didn’t leave any room for me to sit, but eventually she eventually left some room, and said sorry.. but I still felt left out, unimportant,invisible It’s like everything I do is wrong, where people look at me funny as if I’m crazy… I’ve had a rough life, and I’m only in my early 20’s… what should I do to get over this?

    I was even left out while people decided who their partner was going to be for a mini partner (I left out for last, while everyone was teamed up with somebody)

    While I was on the train, some guy looked at me as I was getting ready to get off the train. I was still in my seat while he was standing in front of me holding the rail. I look up twice and he was staring at me (with no smile), just a straight stare down (lol), Then when I made it outside to cross the street, I caught a little boy who was staring at me while walking with someone, (presumably his mother or older sibling). He never turned his head away to look at me. How do I not let this bother me?

    In all what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, I feel like I don’t have or no what my purpose is in life. I try to battle through the little changes in life, which would seem like something so little to the average person.One way I have tried to tackle this problem is through writing (because I love to write0. I write within my journal my feelings and thoughts, but it seems like it’s going to take more than just writing to tackle this problem. How do I get over these little hurdles in order to find my purpose in life?

    I don’t even know if I’m making any sense, or whether I’m in the right section of the forum. (I’m literally saying this while typing this message)

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Rose.
    December 3, 2015 at 10:29 pm #88853
    jock
    Participant

    Just keep going. Have determination. Look to support others and magically you will find yourself supported. (this has been my experience anyway). Life takes courage and endurance. Are you up for the challenge?

    December 4, 2015 at 4:07 am #88856
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Rose,

    People are like magpies (they like bright and shiny things) or they’re like dogs and cats (can pick up someone’s energy).

    I was just like you. But as soon as I put on jewelry or dressed in fashionable clothes, makeup, nails, etc. the people already close to me felt threatened, “Where are YOU going, Inky? Work??” or “WHERE are you GOING???” or “Where are YOU going?” LOL. BUT the people who didn’t really know me ~ all of a sudden, they wanted to talk to me!! I am an introvert, so jeans and t-shirts for me, please!

    Or it’s your energy/vibe. Try smiling, being helpful, being the first person to speak up, ask someone if they want anything, pretend you’re the hostess of the event or the owner of the room. Ask, “Do you need help?” the next time someone gives you a weird look. Other lines are, “Are you lost?” “You look lost, can I help you?” Or, “Do you want to sit here?” That changes the script!

    Just experiment every day! Pretty soon you won’t need tips or tricks to help you, nor will you care! Strangers are overrated anyway! Stay with the people who love you and stick to the Light!

    Blessings,

    Inky

    December 4, 2015 at 7:45 am #88864
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Rose:

    Journaling is good but is not enough. You need healing within the context of an actual relationship with another person. Maybe a good psychotherapist. You need someone to listen to you, to ask you questions, gently, to SEE you, inside, to validate you, to help you see that you are not weird or crazy but that what you feel makes sense. And it is so, what you feel does make sense if you have insight and understand what happened in your young life and how you understandably reacted then. And how those reactions still operate in the present out of habit, although they are not working for you anymore.

    You wrote: “I still felt left out, unimportant,invisible It’s like everything I do is wrong”- there is no doubt in my mind (!) that you felt left out, unimportant and invisible as a young child, and that you were told in some convincing way that you were wrong. I have no doubt it happened- not that you imagined it happened- but that indeed it happened to Rose the Child.

    And Rose the Child is still.. is you. You see the rejecting parent or care taker in other people, leaving you out, treating you as unimportant. Sometimes they do, often they just don’t pay attention to what they are doing, what they are looking at, engaged in their own thinking, spaced out. But you IMAGINE they are thinking about you and seeing you are weird.

    All along it is you who are thinking those things because they happened to you in childhood, during the years your brain was forming (“formative years”)

    If you would like you can post more, write more, because you like to write and NEED to be seen, through your writing. When I am back to the computer, I will attentively read what you write and respond thoughtfully. Maybe others will too. Maybe you can write about those early experiences of being taught you were unimportant.. and your current relationship with the people who taught you that (untrue) thing,

    anita

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