How to stop feeling threatened and jealous?

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    I always become a jealous girlfriend and I can’t seem to stop it. I feel ashamed to admit it. My jealous feelings always seem justified at the time but afterwards I realise it was unnecessary to feel and act that way but then it happens again. My partner is so devoted to me but I can’t seem to get it in my head that he loves me and won’t leave me or cheat on me. I don’t even know if this is the right forum but I hope there is help for me by changing my way of thinking somehow. I have read that jealousy tends to come from not loving myself, but how do I know if I love myself or not when I think that I do cos I take care of myself and know that I’m okay how I am. Always having jealous dreams as well it is awful. Have been with my man for a year and a half and there has always been an issue about some other female or another with me being scared he finds them attractive or has had feelings for others and what we have isn’t so special after all. We plan on getting married even, I just wish I could stop this pattern of awful feelings and subsequent behavior. Any ideas would be appreciated. Many thanks.


    Hi Miffin

    See,its good to be possessive in a relation,because if you don’t show any kind of possessiveness then there is a possibility that the other person might start feeling that my partner dose not care.but over possessiveness is harmful.no body wants to prove himself/herself again and again.no body wants to stand on toes all the time.we all our humans,so apart from being in a relation,we all have our lives too.some space has to be there,where a person can maintain his/her Individuality and the problem arises,when there is a conflict between the two(own life and life with the partner).Initially may be the signs are not visible,but ultimately it comes out and by the time we realize it,its too late.

    you need to ask your self that why do you find it so difficult to trust him???had there been any Instances when he cheated on you?if yes then your behaviour of being insecure makes some sense.but if no,then i don’t see any reason to get jealous or to feel insecurity.you need to maintain some space between him and you so that you both can live your Individual lives as well.respect his individuality and let him be what he his. don’t ask him to prove his love or his loyalty for you again and again.

    Its really important in any relationship to let the other person miss you.If you make your self available for your partner round the clock,then I wont say its bad,but the other person should also feel your absence at times,because then only your partner can realize the importance of your Presence.

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