p.s.

There are also so many other things that feel so hard for me. It feels like daily life is a struggle all the time, even when no major or new problems are happening (though, trust me, we’ve had many of those in recent years, including losing several loved ones (one being my sister) and my husband having open heart surgery).

I have trouble handling personal email (just mainly two people who I love and care about, but on rare occasions some other people), clearing off the DVR, organizing myself, getting rid of so, so much clutter, etc. It all takes so much energy and sometimes I want to run away to a cave somewhere (with my husband and our cat). Not really, it would be too creepy, but you know what I mean. Life feels hard, but I feel like I’m making it harder than it needs to be.

I feel like I’m missing some important skill, some way to handle life.

I know I sound like a disaster. Sometimes I’m better than this, but not too often.

Any ideas or help?

Christine

Obviously, I’m the type of person who gets easily overwhelmed, which is why it takes me so long to respond to things. I will try now, though, to respond a bit to what people have suggested.

First of all, thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond to my problem. I really do appreciate it. I know that everyone nowadays is so busy, so it takes special people to care about others and try to help. Really, I mean that. It’s amazing the caring and support that is on this message board, and the people who help in such a loving way should feel good about that, for sure.

Inky, it’s funny that you mentioned the Flylady site and said “don’t get overwhelmed,” because that’s exactly how I’ve felt the few times that I tried to go to that site through the years. I haven’t checked it out recently. Maybe it’s better now. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at it. I do tend to get overwhelmed so easily. Yesterday I went through one box and it was almost all notes I wrote, and it took me all afternoon and made me feel so much worse. It’s really hard. I actually thought when I started that I would feel better having accomplished it, but it made me more aware of my craziness, so I felt worse. Still, I know it must be done. Maybe I will do it in smaller doses, so it’s not so intense.

Marliv, you’re right about how your mind can understand the logic of inspiring quotes, but it’s hard to get in line with the thinking. I have printed quotes up all over the house. On my better days, they help me, but other times I just can’t see straight and they mean nothing. I do agree that I need to work on meditation, visualization, some prayer, etc. You are also right about toxic people, gradual change, doing things with joy, and more. Thank you.

Gary, thank you for your advice, too. I only had a minute to glance at your litany page (will look at it more later). It’s deeper and worded in a fancier way than the things I wrote for myself the other day, but I do think that your mention earlier of having a “litany” must be what inspired me the other morning. I wrote some positive ways that I want to look at things, and I’m going to type and print them and put them on a clipboard to read every day. I do know that when I was writing them, I was really feeling better, because they applied so directly to me (of course, having come from my brain) and they seem to be the better part of my thinking (when I’m thinking in the “right” way). Thank you so much for the inspiration!

Thank you everyone for all of this advice. I will save, read, and re-read things later, to keep myself thinking of where I want to go and how I want to be.

lucylou,

You are right, I am depressed. It is situational (recent losses and troubles) and also chemical (genetic, maybe – sister and mother have had it, too).

Because of a health condition that I have, I need to try to avoid most medications and even supplements, so I do know that I need to work on natural ways to help my depression, like exercise. That’s a very good place to start.

You are right, big goals (like a 5K – maybe not much to some, but like climbing Everest to me) are too much. I’ve had trouble getting myself to do just 5 minutes of exercise a day. My husband has been struggling with it, too. When you feel so tired, like you are in a deep pit, it’s hard to get out. I know it’s both the fatigue and the depression, bringing me further downward.

Thank you for your suggestions,
Christine

p.s. to Jim

I’m sorry about your mother. My husband’s parents and aunt have passed on, and they were all like parents to me (we all lived together), so I think I do sort of understand. I know it’s not the same as losing your own mom. I’m very close to my mom now, and I never want to lose her. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and always will have that pain. Also, I’m sorry that my nephew will have that pain his whole life, too. I know it will never go away.