I am lost and don't know what to do?

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    2013 had been an awful year, both in personal and professional front. I am now in the dumps (emotional and mental)

    I was a high-spirited, passionate, kind, loving person…………………………..now I don’t even love myself. I believed in myself the most, but now I have lost all my faith, in myself and life. I try everyday so hard to stay positive, to motivate myself, to bring myself out of darkness.

    I can’t be asked anymore, I am not bothered about anything in life anymore. 2013 has shaken me completely and taken my foundation away from me. I don’t know where I belong, who I am and what I want from life? Life seems a huge burden, starting all over again at 31 seems so daunting, mainly because I do not have anyone to rely on, not even myself.


    Dear Smita,
    First a big hug. Know that you are not alone. Start a gratitude journal…every day write down one or two things that have brought you joy…good tea, bird singing, blue sky, a song, seeing a child smile. What comforts you? Make a list of what you like to do, a list of what you want to try and where you’d like to go. Don’t give your negative thoughts a voice…which is not to say you shouldn’t grieve your losses, but put them in their place…don’t give your power away to them.

    If you want to, allow yourself to get counseling, visit with your Dr. and have an honest discussion about what’s going on. I’m starting over at 55, having lost everything…spouse, house, sense of place and community, that I thought would carry me into old age. I had to get help because deep down inside I wanted to survive…but I needed a life line. I got the proper medication and am getting counseling so that hopefully I can get off the meds, but they bought me time, time to sleep, time to cope. There’s no shame in that.

    Treat yourself as your best friend…what would a best friend say to you? That you will be ok, that they are they for you, what can they do to help? Be that person for yourself if there truly is no one else. Eat well, sleep if you want to, cry if you need to. Try to go for at least a little walk outside. Coddle yourself, your heart is sick and that is valid!

    You have been given the chance to recraft your whole life…you are free to go in any direction. Seize the opportunity to live the life you want and dream of. Nothing is holding you back but you.

    Peace and blessings on your journey.


    Dear Smita,
    I am truly sorry to hear about your pain. At this very moment I am probably not the best person to help you but your story touches me because somehow I am in the same boat.
    I wish I could give you the best advice to ease your journey but I am still looking for the life line, the best way to survive and find my old self.
    Before discovering this website I thought that I was just a weak man and the only way out was to man up but after reading all this stories I realized that so many people are experiencing the same symptoms and I suppose the only answer is in you (us) we just have to find the key and hence be able to open the pandora box (easier said than done…).
    Some members of this community took the time to get out of their ways to send me comforting words.
    I would like to give back and send you some positive energy (at least the little that I have left). I sincerely feel your pain more than you can imagine but you are not alone.
    I wish you some peace of mind
    Take good care of yourself

    Annie P

    Hi Smita,

    I am truly sorry to hear about your pain. I know that you must feel lost, but please believe that it is completely normal to feel this way and that you WILL make it through this difficult transition.
    Just DONT GIVE UP.. I am not a doctor; however, in my own experience, I found medication to be a good way to start healing.
    I was in the same position – my work and personal life was in such disarray that I didnt even recognize myself. I was too empty and had nothing to give anyone – not even myself. I had no energy to put towards improving my situation – I was starting to sink. And then, I started to fight – It took a few months, but I got help – my doctor found a medication that worked tremendously to ease my pain and anxiety. . I was getting sleep and finally had the energy to start picking myself up again. I also found that talking to someone about my situation helped a great deal.

    After a while, I no longer needed the medication and have learned many invaluable things about myself. The pain that was once the darkest part of me is now what has created all of the light.

    You will be fine – I promise. Just keep fighting. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Take care,

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