My goal in life has been to get some form of education but I can’t find out how and now that this virus has hit I am trying to work out how I’m going to survive.

I had a breakdown during my exams at school due to the pressure. No one was sympathetic and I ended up in a local college studying a generic computer course which was worthless to find work in. I volunteered and pursued chances and couldn’t get a break.

I tried studying again as a mature student but wasn’t able to complete a degree. The experience was an ordeal, it was an extremely poor college/university, the course was supposed to be degree level but the quality wasn’t even GCSE and there was no training for work. I couldn’t get any support then and can’t find any help now.

Since my chance of a degree is lost forever I’ve studied vocational courses such as IT but it is impossible to find training. Anything you study requires you to have some kind of industry connection. And I find anywhere I work hates training and will resist every opportunity to invest in employees so I can’t count on companies.

I cannot get a break with finding work advice. Everyone is aggressive. People say I need to focus on developing what I want even though I’m in no kind of position to be picky or choosy, or they demand I shut up and take responsibility even though I’m really trying to.

Mindsets have completely changed in this generation. Companies and colleges expect that individuals take responsibility for their own learning. Except they still want trained and experienced staff and students in return. I can’t meet that expectation, it’s impossible. I cannot magic inside industry knowledge out of thin air.

Now I am approaching 40 with no family and work customer service jobs to survive. I’m too competent to work in customer service though, it really shows and managers don’t like that. So I need a chance at something or anything. I don’t care about following a passion, I want training and education. I understand now that people have done nothing but mess me about and I wasn’t prepared for it.

Anyway I don’t know why I’m posting but this virus has wrecked everything, shutting down the economy will leave permanent damage to the job market and I honestly have no idea what my future is or how I’m going to survive now. Finding a job is going to be so much harder than ever before. I feel like I’ve ruined everything.