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i Crave having a girl to sleep next to, but i'm Prohibited, it's killing me

HomeForumsEmotional Masteryi Crave having a girl to sleep next to, but i'm Prohibited, it's killing me

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #270247
    yoker
    Participant

    Hello,

    i’d like to start by saying that i’m 17,i’m a Muslim and i live in Egypt, islam Prohibits anyone from having sex until marriage,and Egypt is 65% muslims,So it’s not exactly okay if i sleep next to a girl..

    when i was young, my cousin and i used to sleep next to each other and hug Each other,we were still pretty young so it was Fine for everyone, in fact, it was a Regular thing that we do every time i stay at hers. but when i grew a little older (say 13 or 14) they stopped me from doing it saying islam Prohibits me.

    it came all of a sudden, they never warned me Before that, ever since then i have felt like i Crave that feeling, Lack of affection.. i feel alone every time i Sleep, which also Evolved to my regular day not just the end of it, every time i see a girl i feel like i lack something,i feel empty inside, i feel like something’s missing.. i feel like i lost something very Valuable.

    there’s just something so extraordinary about having someone (opposite gender) by your side.

    this is taking over me and it makes me very sad all the time.

    i know i’m still pretty young to think of these things Blah Blah Blah,But i do, maybe that’s the point, that i was exposed to these feelings at such a young age and then all of a sudden it’s not there any more.

    it’s not too much to ask for, So close yet so far of a request, i’m in a ” Military School ” which means only boys Attend, i have no way to interact with the opposite gender, Like, nothing in common, and even if i get a Girlfriend, in here (Egypt, Traditions and islam etc.) it would never be a normal thing to sleep next to her, Until married.

    it doesn’t feel the same way if i do it with someone too old like my aunt or the same gender like my dad.

    So what do i do ? do i have to live with this feeling until i’m married ? Not so pleasant.

    Thank you for Giving this topic some Time to read, i Appreciate it!

    #270363
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear poker:

    I read your post and understand your craving and desire. How do other young  men/ teenagers in the school you attend deal with this craving?

    I wonder if you talked about this with young men your age.

    I hope to read more from you when I return to the computer  in about fifteen hours.

    anita

    #270365
    yoker
    Participant

    Hello,

    I don’t recall much but no one has the same problem, maybe because no one else experienced that feeling before..

    I also talked to my cousin about it and told her how i’m feeling, how it affects me and the scientific side of it, but she made fun of me and told me to keep my shit together.

    No one understands how i feel, not even me sometimes, but i guess these small things count

    Kind Regards,

    Yoker (With Y not P)

    #270413
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Yoker:

    I apologize for my mistyping of your name, and thank you for correcting me.

    A little summary of what you shared: you are a 17 year old teenager, a Muslim, Egyptian living in Egypt, attending a military all-boys school. Egypt is 65% Muslim and the religion prohibits sex before marriage. As a child you and your female cousin slept together regularly until you were 12 or 14 without warning, that is, you weren’t  prepared for the change. You feel lonely during the night but also during the day, “I feel empty inside… like something’s missing… like I lost something very Valuable…it makes me sad all the time “. You wrote that there is something “so extraordinary about having  someone (opposite gender) by your side”

    You long for physical closeness with a girl of your age. Question to you so I can understand better: it was four or three years ago that the sleeping arrangement with your cousin was cancelled. Did you feel this sad and empty ever since, 3-4 years at this point, or did the sadness and craving increase lately?

    anita

     

    #270439
    yoker
    Participant

    Hello,

    That feeling started in about a year or half a year after that time, it wasn’t as sad before as it is now, but it kept increasing up to a certain point.

    I learnt to just take the hit and keep the scar but i don’t like this way any more.

    Kind Regards,

    Yoker

    #270445
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Yoker:

    You probably know that the need for affection, physical and otherwise is a natural need, all humans need that. Other social animals do  as well.

    Plus there  is that sexual need young men and women feel at puberty, the need for affection and sexual interactions with other people.

    Regardless of religion and country of origin, these  needs are natural to all  humans.

    If your religion allows it  only after marriage, and you  want to behave according to your religion and/ or according to your family values and  instructions, guided by the religion, then you will wait until marriage before having this physical need met, affection and sex.

    Best you can do, acting in accordance to the religion/ values your family believes in, is make sure to choose a wife who you appreciate  and value and who  will appreciate  and value you, the two of you trusting each other and  worthy of each other’s trust, kind  to  each other, patient and respectful, not aggressive. Then you can enjoy affection and sex for decades to come.

    anita

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