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I cut ties with my family today and I didn't expect to feel this way…

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryI cut ties with my family today and I didn't expect to feel this way…

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  • #178293
    Leocube
    Participant

    A while ago, I was struggling to make the decision whether or not to cut ties with my family. I dug up every bad memory that I could find to justify the decision, but after a long hard look at myself, I realized that although my family might have  been insensitive to me sometimes, they are still good people. However, I was still unable to figure out why I couldn’t open myself up to them. My brother was treated the same way as I was but he wasn’t having these kind of problems as I was having. So logically, I concluded that the problem was not my family, but myself. I’ve had troubles in my life and so have they. They are human too, I can’t expect them to be perfect all the time. I realized that I want them to be perfect, and they aren’t, and so we’re not fit for each other. It’s not anyone’s fault, it just doesn’t work out. I’m a herbivore and they’re meat. Meat is good, but to a herbivore, it isn’t useful.

    Today, I told my whole family that in 6 months, I will be moving out to live somewhere else and when that happens, I consider us no longer involved in each other’s life. I told them to live a happy life and try to forget about me. My parents cried a lot and my brother was sad (he knew about it beforehand so it wasn’t as much of a sock). They asked me a lot of questions and I found myself couldn’t bother to answer. I felt absolutely nothing looking into their eyes. I thought that I might be sad, or happy, or SOMETHING, but I didn’t. I felt nothing.

    I wonder how life will be like in 6 months when I will have no one else to rely on in tough times, somehow I’m ok with it.

    #178375
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Leocube:

    Good to read from you again. Congratulations for making the choice that you made. You have been struggling with this for a long time.

    I hope you adhere to your resolution, follow through with what you told your family. Post again anytime with your thoughts and feelings. When I am at the computer, I will reply.

    anita

    #178405
    Leocube
    Participant

    Thank you. I never realized how “easy” this was. I’m glad I finally did it. Now that I’ve told them, I no longer have any negative reaction to their presence.

    #178473
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Leocube:

    Again, congratulations. I thought positively about what you did before I turned on the computer this early morning. I thought how I cut all contact with my mother and wish I have done so way, way earlier than I did.

    I think you were true to yourself when you had that conversation with them and that is positive and freeing. Keep being true to yourself, don’t betray yourself by abandoning that truth so to accommodate any other person.

    anita

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