About a year ago, I ended an abusive relationship with my ex. Following that, I decided that I wasn’t ready for another relationship and wanted to focus on figuring out who I am outside of a relationship. It was working okay for quite some time but then I met someone who seemed to only want something casual, as did I. It turned into a sort of friends with benefits relationship (hardly even friends) and despite me never liking his personality from the beginning, I fell for him and have been stuck ever since.

I’ve been battling it out with my mind and heart as when I think about the situation logically, everything points to him being wrong for me and for cutting off contact to be the best solution, yet I can’t seem to stop feeling the way that I do. When he contacts me to hook up I can rarely say no because the hookups are enjoyable and I think I’m scared to say no because I’m terrified he will just leave forever as soon as the sex stops. I know the right thing to do is to get myself out of this situation but I have no where near enough emotional strength right now to cut it off because I know it’ll wrench my heart out if I do. It all sounds so silly, falling so hard for someone who never cared for me in the first place and when it’s so easy to see that the relationship is doing more harm than good, but I’m still a mess and I just can’t end it no matter how hard I try. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me and I don’t know what I can do that will hurt the least.