Dear Anita,

You are the most empathetic person I have come across and this carefully thought  response of yours is one more proof for me personally.

I want to add a correction on  my beliefs and destiny . I’m  not a great believer of God(while is still believe there is a super power Guiding this world in the form of.people doing good deeds, animals, Nature et but what I meant by my sentence is that we broke up  several times against my(and his wishes) from the past 12 years and still somethig  is bringing us together . This is happening despite many odds in the circumstances like me neither being bossed with him nor he caring enough to read my feelings or for that matter went and married someone even as a rebound rrelationship. I really at one point admired his courage by taking a different step showcasing progressiveness (which in another angle is destructing our relationship which could have been easily fixed according to my friends and family too i meant the most rational thing i agree as well). So this brings to another whole point you rightly wrote about , UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  I hVe a feeling for several years that this is what making me stuck to him despite all his wrong doings. Im.not saying he is a bad perosn but I’m mentioning only for the context of the story and where our problems strayed such as him disregarding my feelings, making unreasonable requests like asking for kids whne I was not ready nor the circumstances areabsolitely not suitable, trying to control me whol to speak and what to speak, stopping me from doing my hobbies so I could love him.more or avoid making new friends).

I did every  possible thing to cut ties in my heart but they call come and stop at one point…” its ok may be he did it with a different mind or he is like that if not me who will understand him and excuse him” or in that direction .

Its like I have every damn gokd thing in my life to be happy but I’m not coz my heart is always excusing him.and being on an endless life loop..I would be fine even if  I’m obsessive of him or have great burning desire to be with him at any cost by breaking his massive etc. Im not even like that but just melts for his words and say yes..

I began to lose hope on my personal life..while I’m emotionally strong and independent I’m unable to see myself aging and still not enjoying anything that I thought could be easily achievable..

Thank you for listening to me.