I feel my friends forget about me

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    Hello all!
    I’m new here and I’d like some advice on this matter.
    I’m a 26 year old girl with a boyfriend (for already 1.5 years) and a great group of friends. I’ve been a part of that group of friends for about 3 years and met them through mutual friends. Now they all have jobs and a relationship (the couples are part of the group of friends) and we all live in the same town. Now I have a different job and my boyfriend and I are moving in together next week but in a town about an hour away from my home town (and friends). So meeting up with them last minute won’t be easy and probably won’t happen anymore. Lately I’ve seen pictures of them on facebook that some of them are meeting up at people’s places. Like couple A will go to the house of couple B to hang out, etc… but they don’t include me. Now, I’m busy with moving, work and going to the gym so it’s hard to find a moment that I can go out.

    I just feel a bit alone and the thought of moving so far away from my friends kinda scares me…

    It would be nice to hear your thoughts about this 🙂
    Thank you in advance!


    Hi crystalminds,

    When I read this I admit I balked at the “hour away”.

    What will happen is you will have a seasonal get together at your place with your old friends because: hour away.

    When/if your friends have children one day it will only get worse.

    Them getting together without you could be their unconscious way of saying goodbye.

    You will want to find friends in the new town where you’ll live. Neighbors, work, place of worship, rec center, clubs.

    Good Luck!



    Hello Crystalminds,

    I have friends who are 15-20 minutes away, have smartphones that are perfectly capable of sending text messages/phone calls and yet I’m lucky if I see them once a month! Now, it’s not that they don’t care about me, etc. it’s just this day in age and the culture we live in people are increasingly more exhausted/less motivated to reach out (especially if you’re past the college/new graduate age). I doubt it’s personal. They may be making assumptions that you and your sweetie don’t want to make the drive or want to enjoy the first months together in your new place.

    So try reaching out to them and say (word this carefully so it doesn’t come off as needy or an attack), “I miss you guys. I know I’ve been busy, but the next time you all plan a get together, let me know! [Boyfriend’s Name] and I would love to come.” Or invite them over to your new place!

    If they’re vague or don’t follow through, well, then accept the fact you are not a priority for them *right now*. Give them space, and if they don’t reach out, well then, maybe Inky is right and you’ve been phased out (again, either out of laziness or, perhaps, out of intention).

    As lovely as it would be to hold onto friendships, the romantic notion of “best friends forever” is not always a reality. Circumstances and relationships change. As the saying goes, “people come into your life for reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Treasure the time you *did* have with these people, leave the door open for them to return if you wish, and move on.


    Thanks for your answers! Miniature Bodhisattva, I hope you’re right, your reply made me feel better, thanks!

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