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I finally broke up with my boyfriend and am unsure of how I feel

HomeForumsRelationshipsI finally broke up with my boyfriend and am unsure of how I feel

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  • #266495
    Katie
    Participant

    I broke up with my boyfriend exactly a week ago. I have been thinking about ending it for a very long time (over a year) because he is abusive. I would usually be heartbroken after being broken up with him for so long but I don’t. I think I have grown a lot and know my worth finally, so it is easier for me to let go. I feel calm, happy, and like myself again. But I also feel some other emotions that I am a little unsure of.

    I feel guilty because I know my boyfriend is in a lot of pain. He has been texting me about how hurt he is. I have replied to a few of his many texts, but I only said things such as “I’m sorry this is the best decision for me” and “I will always be here to support you if you need it.” But I still feel guilty for causing him so much pain. I think I am able to understand his pain because I once felt an extreme amount of pain when we broke up in the past. I felt hopeless, depressed, lifeless, etc… I don’t want that for him. That’s why I told him I will always be there for him. I don’t want him to feel like he is losing me as a friend. I told him that he can still depend on me for advice, support, and friendship but we are not in a relationship anymore. Right now I have him blocked from texting me in order for him to be able to move on.

    I also feel confused because I used to feel so much pain when we broke up. Now I feel calm and emotionless. Why? It is confusing me and I am not sure how to feel…

    Sorry if this post doesn’t make any sense, I just need someone else’s opinion. Why do I feel this way? Is what I am doing right? What should I do from now on? The future seems so ambiguous and nerve-wracking… I am worried that I will eventually go back to him when that isn’t the right thing to do.

    • This topic was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Katie.
    #266517
    talah
    Participant

    Be there for him has a friend, but don’t let him rely on you. This guilt is normal and will linger for a while but do not give into it, if you go back to him, the same thing will happen again. He is only hurt because he had control and never though he would lose that control, he needs to learn his lesson so he wouldn’t do this to the next innocent girl. If you remove yourself from any toxicity to a positive environment then you are doing the right thing and should never feel guilty about that. Remember this is about your feelings and your happiness, not his. You’ve been under someones shadow for so long, it’s time to find yourself and love yourself and be your own person. I wish you the best, you deserve happiness, so go get it girl and don’t look back. If you have anything to ask, I’ll be more than happy to help. <3

    #267097
    Katie
    Participant

    Talah,

    Thank you for the advice. I will let you know if I have anything else to ask because I probably do. I am just currently still in shock that I still don’t know how to feel. Thank you <3

    #267227
    talah
    Participant

    Anytime. You got this.

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