January 1, 2018 at 11:43 am #184581
So, I'm sure there was some advice to my question somewhere already on here but i'd figure I would just straight and up ask. I'm 29, I have two beautiful children that I would do anything for. Their mother and I are not together so we live separately. We've been split for 3 years now. In that time I can say I reinvented myself. I stopped doing drugs, I quit smoking, I exercise regularly, I eat healthier, and I can also manage my finances better although i'm still not completely independent and rely on my father to help me. My question is this. I just feel so lost but have such a huge passion burning in my stomach to do something and be something more. I've had a lot of weird hobbies in my life like wood working and electronics but it feels like its not something I want to do with my life. I'd like to own a business but I don't know in what. I just feel as if i'm running along with no idea as to what i'm doing, I feel lost and it makes me angry and resent myself that I can't figure this out. I want success, its burning in my stomach but I just don't know where to with it. I feel like I have nothing to offer the word but yet I want to offer so much to it… Anybody ever feel like this? is this my mid life crisis? I just feel like I have no ultimate end goal. I'm not asking for someone to tell me what to do because I know only I can decide that but any wisdom or guidance that others have gone through would be great. Thanks.January 1, 2018 at 3:20 pm #184603
It might sound odd or corny but you are exactly where you need to be to take the next step on where you want to go.
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. -Henry David Thoreau
In the last three years you have done a lot of work on yourself and are now ready for something more. I suspect that all your ‘weird' hobbies and everything you have learned so far will come together and lead to unexpected opportunities. Explore them all.
The goal of success is to vague and difficult to measure and so unhelpful, let it go, you have already succeed where many have floundered. Well done! Anger is information that you are impatient and also that you desire to do better now that you know better. If you can accept that change happens slowly, one step followed by the next, then all at once – the feelings of resentment will dissipate the the energy redirected to the possibilities that will be discovered.
Allow yourself to be lost fearlessly and you will find your way. Trust yourself you are on your path, your hero's journey.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king. – Tolkien
January 1, 2018 at 5:51 pm #184609
- This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by Peter.
You don't have to figure it all out right now. Just take small steps. Kind of like cleaning a house. For example starting with the kitchen first, then moving on to vacuuming. Them maybe the next week, tackle something else. You don't have to clean the entire house all in one day. It's overwhelming.
Same with figuring out your life's journey. One thing at a time. Let's say you want to start your own business. Maybe go into a partnership with a friend. There is a great book called “What color is your parachute”. It asks you questions and matches you with the vocation that best suits your personality and skills. It has been around since the 80's, it's a best-selling book, updated ever year.
Many people take their passions or hobbies and create work from that. Or maybe you could get a life or job coach to guide you along, kind of like a mentor. Maybe you could take classes, vocational, etc, maybe find something from the classes that you would be interested in. Start slow. Enjoy the journey. Don't worry about figuring it all out. It's too much pressure, too much burn out.
Maybe work some temp jobs, gain some knowledge of different industry's. See what's out there you may enjoy. Don't rush yourself. Have a very Happy New Year. Please post again. Maybe others will post with some thoughts.January 1, 2018 at 7:44 pm #184613
“I’d like to own a business but I don’t know in what. I just feel as if i’m running along with no idea as to what i’m doing”
Perhaps Affiliate Marketing may be of any interest to you.
It is useful in situations where one wants to turn their hobbies/passion/interests into a business. Below is a website that helps people to achieve this.
The below link has the details that you will require to know what it is all about.
VJJanuary 2, 2018 at 6:49 am #184687
You wrote: “I … have such a huge passion burning in my stomach to do something and be something more… I want success, its burning in my stomach but I just don't know where to..I feel like I have nothing to offer the world but yet I want to offer so much to it.. Anybody ever feel like this?”
Yes, I believe I did. This is what I now understand about my feelings and experience: that my passion to be more was as intense as my painful early experience of being less.
Imagine this: a child moves crayons across a white page, lines of colors. So fascinated by his creation, the little boy brings his masterpiece to his father and gives it to him with pride, expecting his father to be filled with delight at this valuable masterpiece. The father picks up the paper and says nothing or something negative and puts it away while continuing a conversation from before.
This young child, deeply hurt, dreams later of being an internationally famous artist, to create something that the whole world will notice and admire.
The dreams of greatness, the passion to do more and be more, is proportional to the hurt, to the rejection of that small thing he offered to his father, a small thing that meant a whole lot, to the child.
anitaJanuary 2, 2018 at 9:17 am #184725
I'm not sure how, why or when this happened but I'm sure it has something to do with my acceptance and my recovery from addiction, but I have no need to try to figure out why I am anywhere, anymore. All I know is that where ever I am it is exactly where I am suppose to be. There is tremendous amount of freedom in this philosophy and the pressure is off! Over the past 7 years of sobriety and recovery the miracles keep piling up!
All the best, RoncalliJanuary 15, 2018 at 11:21 am #186839
I just wanted to check in on you since last communicating with you to see how you are. Are you feeling any better? Please post again if you would like with any thoughts..