I need some space

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    Recently, I applied for a job at my local Walgreens in my town. I got the job about a week later, and met some really cool people there. I did not realize that I would start a relationship with one of my coworkers, however, and was thrown off- guard when he told me he liked me. We hung out for a month, and went from seeing each other only at work and once or twice on our off days to hanging out every day and every night. There is a year age gap, he is 18 and I am 17, and immediately, when we started talking I knew that was going to be an issue. I still live at home since I haven’t finished high school, and he is in his second year of college. After our numerous dates and long nights spent driving and cuddling, I started to realize that the feelings I thought I had for him were really just longings for physical contact from someone other than my family. I started to understand that the romantic feelings I had for him were now platonic, and I really only wanted to hang out with him as friends. However, I am now stuck. Everyday he texts me how much he misses me and thinks I’m cute, wants to see me, etc…. and I don’t feel the same. I am nervous to end things, simply because we work together and I know it’s going to be really awkward, and partly because I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we had before. With school, sports, clubs and working two jobs, I barely have any time for myself, let alone I boy I thought I was romantically interested in. How do I end things without ruining them, and how do I make sure that I am feeling okay after I end it?



    Good for you to find that out about yourself.  You can tell him what you posted here, i.e. I realize that what I thought were romantic feelings were really my need for physical contact.  I really would like to be friends.  I hope this won’t be awkward between us for I value you as a friend.



    Hi Ava,

    Just be open and honest with your boyfriend.  You are growing and learning about relationships and he has been a part of this process.  You are busy with your life as it is at the moment and you need to spend less time with him.  You are glad that you will still be seeing him at work and you may be able to meet him at some social occasions sometimes but you don’t feel romantically connected to him.



    Dear  Ava:

    be gentle with him as you give him the clear message that you are not interested in a romantic or physical relationship with him, that you are only interested in a friendly co-worker/ professional relationship with him. Make it short, clear and no double messages. Better not elaborate and say too much, the more you say, the more chances there are for misunderstanding on his part and false hope.

    After you communicate with him this way that one time, be consistent afterwards- do not see him outside of work, do not flirt with him or suggest anything at all that may give him false hope.


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