Oh hon, it hurts my soul to hear your pain. Just know, you are not alone. I too suffer with the pressures of society to look a certain way. I too feel times when I am not enough because I don’t look like a super model. I know the battle between wanting to be myself and free of self judgement but being dragged back into the mire of self hatred. I want you to know that I continue to work on myself and my self love at all times but with this work, it does get better!

First I would suggest you take down the picture from your Instagram account and delete it. Looking at it will only continue to cause you pain and keep you in that downward spiral.

Second, there is an amazing woman I follow on Instagram called bodyposipanda. She is fighting with her heart and soul to change society’s view on what is considered ‘beautiful.’ She used to be one of those Instagram models who, while being beautiful with a wonderful body, felt horrible. She hated herself, she had an eating disorder and depression and felt like she was never enough. All because of the pressures of society. She has recently released a book on body positivity and I feel it may help you.

Third, no one on any forum anywhere will be able to wave a magic wand and make your pain go away. YOU must do this. And from the sounds of it you need help to do so. Do you have family, friends, loved ones, anyone you can talk to? And don’t be afraid to approach a good friend asking for help! Especially if you feel you will be burdening them, or feel ashamed because you feel their life is ‘perfect.’ A true friend will be there and will help you, no matter what. I have derived so much help and support from talking with friends, counsellors and therapists. There is nothing wrong or weak in asking for help. It takes a true, strong spirit to do so. And you deserve it.

And remember, Instagram only shows people’s highlight reels, it doesn’t show their pain, suffering or self hatred. It doesnt show the lows, it doesnt show the tears, the eating disorders, the depression.

Melanie