I am by no means a professional, however just an astute “observer of the human scene.” My analysis and perspective is as follows and feel free to ignore any or all of it. At the end of the day you have to do what feels right.

Firstly, this guy came on strong at first? I too am apprehensive when someone is just way too into something way too soon. Often there is a lot of idealization going on, where they have you built up in their head as the ‘perfect’ person. They are seeking an attachment not a relationship, which could be a red flag to deeper layers of insecurity and self esteem issues. This process isnt sustainable and unless a deeper bond is formed in the mean time, when the inevitable occurs. Which is that they realize you can not live up to the person that is strictly in their head (no one ever can) they’re usually disappointed and gone not soon after. That may have been or not be what was occurring. Most emotionally healthy people take it slow and if anything go with the flow with minor expectations on you.

Secondly, kudos for standing up for your feelings and willing to admit to yourself you were foolish (forgive that word) in not having given him a chance. Kudos for sharing it with him. So what did you expect? Him to say “oh yes, ive been waiting for this day for the past year, Ive had my life on hold waiting for the moment you finally realized I was here.” I may have trivialized it, but the point remains, and to me, seems a little selfish to expect much from him at this point. When you release your expectations the rejection will sting less.

Third, its a tricky thing making friends into lovers. You risk loosing the bond and relationship you share with this person as a friendship. If that is a risk you are willing to take to loose this person from your life completely. Keep pushing and that’s more than likely what you will get.

To bring this back to a more supportive and enlightening perspective as this is “tiny buddha” my best advice would be to release your expectations of him and what it is you want from him and want him to do. He is his own person, he was into you, and isnt anymore, respect his choice and his right as an individual to make that choice. If you really care about him, his happiness and well being should be important to you. If you dare love him, than putting your needs before his, i.e. wanting him to be with you, when he does not wish to pursue this. Isnt really love in its purest form. I personally dont understand the “all or nothing” line between friends and dating. Where one minute you can share an incredible bond and the next are perfect strangers simply because one party does not wish to deal with the difficult emotions. The first step of a romantic relationships is first a friendship, so if you arent willing to be a friend to him, be supportive to him, meet with a smile any new woman in his life. Than he might be better off with you gone.

I hope you find the peace it is you seek. I have a bad tendency to play devils advocate, so please forgive any thing Ive said that could be communicated or received as judgement. It is only my intention to provide a more humbling perspective, as I have learned it is only when we look inward do we find truth in our circumstances. Its a hard spot to be in when feelings aren’t reciprocated. You can not control him, you can only control yourself, and decide what of him in your life you’re willing to be satisfied with, even if it isnt the way you want. It all begins and ends within us!

I know this feeling to well myself.. It started really good, I met This girl that I work with on January 5th of this year. it started as a very sweet and simple smile back and forth to each other. Me and her would have these little friendly talks, about movies and music and all. then on one night a friend of ours, that we both work with had planned a movie night with two other friends. five friends total inside of her car. This movie night went really, really well. after it we all went to eat at an IHOP and had conversations about truths behind certain cartoon shows. after all this was said and done, she started dropping off our friends, and it just ended up being me and her in her car. she asked me a personal question. She asked me if I had a GirlFriend. I said I used to for 11 years. until my mom passed away and my father said to me that my girlfriend had to chose, get rid of her dogs and stay in texas or keep them and move back to Louisiana. She chose to keep her dogs. I had told my friend this and the look on her face was like, I am really sorry to hear that. She then told me about her past relationship, how she was engaged and about to get married and he ended the engagement and just wanted to stay her friend for now, and just take it really slow. That she already had a wedding dress and everything. I felt really bad for her too. this was the first time I opened up to anybody in a long time. and we ended up being good friends to each other and everything. we even started talking a bit more and I felt like I was getting closer and closer to her. She even told me she appreciated everything I said to her and that I had helped her out a lot. now recently I have asked her if we could just hang out together as friends, and watch some movies together. but she kept changing her mind on me and then she said that me and her would be better off if we didn’t see each other outside of work, since we work together. Her changing her mind on me started getting to me slowly, but not enough to be noticed. Then one night I asked her if I could get a picture of me and her together on my phone she said yes, and our friend took the picture with my phone. I ended up getting really scared cause I was beginning to have these really strong feelings for her and it scared me to have them, so I ended up doing something to make sure we wouldn’t get closer. I lied not just to her but my self as well over a text and a picture I drew. it ended up working to well and she said she strongly disliked me and couldn’t be my friend anymore. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t end my friendship with her cause she has helped me way more than she knows and that she can’t stop me from being like that and that friendship is a two-way street. but it was before this happened when I looked at the picture on my phone of me and her, I realized that I have fallen in love with her. What can I do to make her see, that this guy she is taking it slow with is not the right guy for her. I mean if it wasn’t for all the hurt me and her went through , we probably wouldn’t have met each other and became such good friends. Life doesn’t always work the way you want it too.. god makes life work and sees the goodness in everybody and helps them find what they are looking for in life. And I strongly believe god has meant for me and her to have found each other. That me and her should be together. What can I do to make her see what I see What can I do to get it all back, and get her back? Should I tell her how I truly feel about her or what ? I need help.