Everytime I start a conversation with my family it turns into a big fight. My mom is a single parent and I have 2 brothers. I think, no, not think, I believe  my elder brother in particular hates me. my mom sides with him openly but when he is not there she accepts that it was his fault. I am always told to stay quiet or to ignore him but i dont remember if she says it to him. I am a middle child and my younger brother tries. i mean i feel him making an effort to talk to me and he is okay but he still likes my elder brother better. Most of their (my brothers) tantrums are rewarded while i am verbally and emotionally abused. My mom is mostly taunting me about how my future husband will beat me if i continue these things . and by things i mean standing up for myself. she hates when i talk back but its okay for my brothers to do so. Its always me vs them, i always feel like an outcast in my own home. the feeling of not belonging in my own family makes me all kinds of sad. I am currently in the final year of my college and i am looking for jobs. i just wish i would get a job far from from home. I mean i have good times with my mom but i feel it that she likes my brothers better. and i mean she is the most wonderful woman, she tried to fulfil all our wishes to the best of her limits but its just very clear sometimes : she likes my brothers better. she tolerates them so much while i am usually shouted at or thrown stuff at. my brother wants to become a horrible person like he takes pride when someone(mostly me)tells him he is rude, sexiest and frankly quiet dumb.  there’s hardly anytime when i am not fighting with my elder brother. He  just pisses me off to the point that i think of dying or running away.all kinds of questions like : will they miss me ? should i run away? run through my mind. most of the times i am disgusted by him. I would leave but i dont have a job. i hope somebody i will move out and not i wont have to deal with them