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i work with my ex.

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  • May 15, 2015 at 6:34 pm #76849
    claudia acanda
    Participant

    My ex boyfriend & i of almost two years, we, mainly him, ended things with me because i was very controllable of him, very insecure of our relationship, easily jealous. You name it! & He said, he still liked me very much but doesn’t think its the right time for us to be together now. He told me to go out, and be happy and free. Problem is, i work with him. It is very hard for me, we talk normal like co-workers. I agree that, i always want to be in control of him ect. & i want to work on myself and better those aspec. I don’t know how i should go about the situation of us working together, and how i can stop being so jealous, control, insecure…

    May 16, 2015 at 8:22 am #76866
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Claudiii:
    I don’t know how you can solve the problem of feeling distressed about working with your ex boyfriend. But regarding what you wrote last in your post: “how i can stop being so jealous, control, insecure…” I am thinking- psychotherapy? With a good psychotherapist??? Some insight and skills learned in good psychotherapy can do wonders for you- I believe so very much because you are showing humility and motivation in this post, a willingness to look into yourself so to improve your functioning and your life.
    Take care:
    anita

    May 17, 2015 at 6:23 am #76880
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Claudiii,

    Working with your ex would test anyone’s enlightened nature LOL. Even if you were completely over him, the niggling memories would be there. This is why as a general rule people don’t date their work colleagues. Short of going to another branch, working from home for the company or switching jobs, there’s not a whole lot you can do.

    Maybe don’t talk to him unless you have to, be polite, tell him, “No, I don’t want to hear about your new girlfriend/amazing weekend” (God forbid he says something like that).

    Just think of him as someone from your distant past who’s a different person now (he eventually will be). Or that this is his identical twin Skippy.

    Hang in There,

    Inky

    May 17, 2015 at 8:31 am #76884
    Vid
    Participant

    Some people are born with such traits. But some acquire them through bad experiences. Identify your type. Once you identify your type, you will know whether you can change yourself or not. Else get someone else.

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