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Ignored to See How He Feels?

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  • May 24, 2019 at 8:19 am #295485
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Liz,

    It doesn’t sound like he’s a bad guy, it just sounds like you two are incompatible.

    I think it’s good that he didn’t try to break down your silent treatment or show up (like a stalker) at your house. If someone doesn’t respond, that’s on them! So you can’t fault him on that one, really.

    Well, I say stop chasing him and move on.

    Best,

    Inky

    May 24, 2019 at 1:41 pm #295613
    Alexandria
    Participant

    It sounds like you guys had a lot of chemistry and you understand each other in a way. But it low key seems like he just wants someone at the end of the night, or not even that maybe just someone “there” casually. All these games you guys played with each other were petty and unnecessary to me personally. Manipulating someone to see if they care or get their attention is disgusting to me. But believe me we’ve all been there and done that girl.

    Anyway I just think for future reference, the best “game” to play is be honest with yourself! You already know what you want, you want something serious. So the next time you meet someone GET TO KNOW them before pursuing anything that is relationship-y that goes for sleepovers, sex, etc. Go out and have fun with them but just call it a night after that and go home. Just be real about your intentions and respect yourself. (Not saying your not just remember what some choices can do ya know?) Like my boyfriend (M25) and I (F22)got together we rushed into it. We texted/snapchatted everyday for like two weeks before we decided to go on a date(We had known each other through friends so he wasn’t a stranger) but after that first date dude we just rushed everything. I think I started staying over at his house like a month after all of this, it wasn’t the best start to a relationship, I regret it somewhat. Although I still love and enjoy our relationship, I just wish I would’ve taken things a little slower physically and built a stronger friendship so we could really have a solid friendship along with our relationship.

    May 25, 2019 at 8:25 am #295657
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liz:

    You told him something, “I told him from the beginning I wanted a relationship and how I wanted to find someone that I would date for the long haul. I’m not the casual hookup type and if he didn’t want the same then bye, because I don’t like or want to waste my time anymore”.

    And he told you a whole lot: “he says I am a ‘potential girlfriend and he doesn’t want to lose me. He just needs more time… he ‘doesn’t do sh*& like this’ and I’m ‘different and special’ and ‘he hasn’t felt this way about someone in a long time’… He stated how we technically are single but we are choosing to be loyal to each other and there is no one else except me… He would always want to be a part of my life… he’s ready to get his life together… he only wants me… I am not one of the rude guys”.

    It is very easy to say things, to articulate words, for most people. It takes very little effort and very little time. If you repeated what he told you and timed yourself, you will see how little time it takes to say all the things he told you and you don’t break a sweat saying these things. It is easy.

    You told him something (first paragraph) but then you forgot what you said, your clearly stated goal and got lost in what he told you. Better focus on your goal, see to it that you are proceeding according to your goal, instead of getting lost in someone’s words, words in his case that serve his goal, which seems to be having “the casual hookup type” relationship which you stated that you don’t want to have!

    anita

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