Home→Forums→Relationships→Im confused on this situation on why he acts like that?any hope of my exbf back?
- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 10 months ago by Lakra.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 21, 2014 at 7:39 pm #51529caseyParticipant
i was with my boyfriend for more then a year and 7 months. We had a huge argument near the end of december, because i said no to sex. The he got super mad, said all these mean things, then wanted to rethink the relationship, he usually does that alot when i say no to something physical, but he never means it, then goes back to normal, for the first time, he got so angry that he made me walk home in the night, cold, told me to get out of the house, after i said no to that, said im a great girlfriend, but he needs time to figure things about regarding on a descion to make between us. Anyways a week later after that argument, he broke up with me because his feelings changed and his love for me is not as strong as before through a friend first, then texted me that, which made me mad, but he agreed to explain to me in person, since he does want to be friends with me after this. He still loves me and cares about me alot, and wants me in his life plus remain friends for now to see what happens. We both tried our hardest on eachother,and longest relationship. A week later after that,on my birthday, he texted me saying he loves me, telling me lovey dovey stuff, complimenting me, then says he wants to have sex with me.I asked him is that all he wants from me, he said yes and no. He then said he was joking about wanting to have sex with me and hes fine with none of that extra stuff happening, inorder for us to stay friends.
2 weeks later, I saw him, since we have mutual friends, i was really mad and was ignoring him. He kept trying to mess with me, then when I wasn’t giving him any attention, the next day, he said, hes sorry for everything and he misses and loves me. Then he came over next to me, I continued to ignore him and push him away because he was trying to kiss me, plus hold my hand, and cuddle. Then I asked him what does he want and he got mad and went away from me. Then after that, when I said well try to be friends considering his feelings for me are not as strong, he didn’t say anything. I said we can try to be friends considering hes the one that wanted this, and no extra stuff would happen, he agreed, .Then while i was walking back with him, he was holding my hand, hugging me, putting his arm around me, said he wanted to kiss me, was kissing on my neck and face, i pushed him away because he shouldn’t be doing that considering hes the one that wanted to be friends. He was then saying that he loves me and he wants me plus saying alot of lovey dovey things. He then said he wants me back in his life as a girlfriend but needs to figure things out first and got weird on me. We went back in the house, and he started being playful, and I asked him what does he want, and he said he dosen’t know plus asked me the same question back, which I didn’t answer. I then kept pushing him away because he kept trying to do stuff, such as kissing me plus trying to kiss my mouth and other stuff. He said hes so used to me being his girlfriend and it feels weird for him for us to be friends. Then when I went home, I asked him again through text, what does he want, he said he wanted to be just friends. and the only reason he did that and said those lovey dovey things was because hes used to it and it will never happen again. Well weeks later after that, i saw him since im friends with his roomate, he was acting friendly, and when noone was around, hugged me and said he misses me also.
Then i came over again 2 weeks later, to see his roomate, since im friends with them also, well this time, he was getting close/touchy to me again,such as smacking my butt/playful(wrestling)like he used to plus he flashed his **** out of nowhere to me and whenever his roomate is being playful towards me, he backs me away and trys to get my attention, as if hes jealous. He also trys to get sexual with a roomate of his in front of me, i dont know if its on purpose, but of course, she pushes him away. Well during the mid of january, a friend of his asks if he can hang with me, he gets mad, yelled at him, told him not to have sex, or do anything with me plus he has on eye on him if he does. Well over a month later after the breakup, i realized i made a mistake by pushing him away, when he wanted me back, the time i saw him after the breakup, and i texted him that he has a chance if he ever wants to come back, since i do want him back. Well days later, the same friend asks him, if he could date me, where he then yells at him, said he dosent care about me, said means things, that i dont put out and he can do whatever he wants to me. later on, My ex bf told me he started dating a girl, he told me that they have sex and spend nights together, plus my ex and her are good. my ex apparently been dating several girls after the breakup and did it with them also. Well a week later after that almost 2 months since the breakup, i asked him, if he only wanted sex when i used to be with him, he said no. Im confused on how he feels about me, i dont know if there any hope since he started dating a girl. I find it weird that he mentioned that they have sex to me. I also dont understand how he didnt just want 1 thing from me when i used to be with him since he did break up with me when i said no, since i wasn’t completely ready at that time. I never had sex with him since i wasnt ready yet. I regret not having sex with him ever since i really do love him and care for him alot,i mean i was ready, he dosent know that but its just i was just scared of losing him if we did it, since he the only person that i was with that i cared about alot. im not a virgin, iv had sex in my previous relationships, with 2 only, just not with him, the most recent relationship. If he would of told me that he didn’t just want sex when i used to be with him, and he wouldnt leave,i would of done it. But almost 2 months after the break up, i asked him and thats when he told me he didn’t just want sex when i used to be with him. im confused if he even has feelings for me and if there any hope still, what should i do, i really want my ex bf back? were both 21.
February 22, 2014 at 7:17 am #51541AnyoneParticipantCasey,
How many other such things are there apart from sex that if you deny; he would want to break the relation and go angry.
And, it sounds more like a competition than a relation! The girl who gives more of sex, wins!
Please gear-up your senses and think sensibly.
February 22, 2014 at 9:32 am #51542eye of the stormParticipantCasey, you are confused because you care about him. He doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you to be happy with someone else, he only wants sex. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve someone who will wait until you are ready, you deserve someone who cares for you and wants you to be safe and happy.
You do not deserve someone who will kick you out in the dark and cold because they didn’t get their way. He punishes you when he is angry and then sweet talks you to get you back into line.
Do not let yourself get back into this.
I agree with Anyone, turn your brain back on and get on with your life.
Best of luck!
February 22, 2014 at 11:10 am #51543LakraParticipantIf I were you I´d ask myself…do I want to be with someone who treats me like this? If your best friend would be in your situation how would you advise her?
I know it´s hard to break out of that cycle…I´ve been there I´ve done that. So I´m letting you in on a secret :…You´ll be fine without him.Believe me.
In my opinion stop contacting him. Stop spending time with him. Go out do things for yourself with your friends and family. Exercise or start a new hobby. Keep yourself busy and you´ll see you dont need a man to make you happy. You´re a great person. Dont waste it on someone who according to what you´ve written down here doesnt care about you. Find someone who respects you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
He acts like an immature brat. You said no to his advances yet he kept pushing you into that direction everytime he felt like it and when he doesnt he gets angry and mean.
Is this what love or even friendship is supposed to be like in your eyes?You cant have a mature relationship with a kid like that. If he cant wait for you he doesnt love you. Why would you want to waste your precious time on someone like that?
He wants you as a f*ck buddy (excuse my language) and he wants to own you like a pet or a toy. He doesnt want to see you happy in your life with someone else.It´s not love from his side. You are afraid of being alone and that´s the whole problem. You´re 21. Heck you´ve got so much time still to find someone who truly cares for you. So please wake up. Dont waste your feelings anymore. Unless you want to stay in a one-sided relationship and be mistreated.
Picasso said : “There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.” It´s your choice what you want to be Casey.
Best of luck.
-
AuthorPosts