June 1, 2016 at 12:33 am #106170
Lately I have been feeling down because the girl i love is pushing me away. She isnt showing interest anymore but she is always talking with my friends. I try talking to her but she doesnt want to talk to me. So ive been giving her space but im afraid she has lost interest in me. Im also afraid she might cheat on me with my friends since she is always talking to them. I feel so helpless, like i should be taking care of her but it seems like my best friend is and i think she is starting to like him and she is going to leave me. I am so sad. I dont know what to do. There is a lot to say but i dont know what to add at the moment.June 1, 2016 at 12:48 am #106172MattyParticipant
lets put aside the whole cheating part for the moment, primarily because you ‘think’ it’s likely to happen, and it could be that your just in this mindset because your GF is showing some contradictory signs. Simply talking to someone that you know doesn’t mean she is going to cheat on you. And if she does, it will hurt. But, at least then she actually did you a favor by showing who she truly is, without you spending years not knowing.
Actually…i just reread your post, is this girl your GF? Are you two together, exclusively? Because if you are not, then i’m not quite sure what you can do. If she is no longer interested in you, for whatever reason, you cannot change her mind, without becoming something you are not. Pretending to be something that conforms to what she wants, not what you want. Maybe the love you feel for her is one sided, and non-receptive?
What do you mean by “taking care of her”? because if you two are together, it is not your sole duty to look after her as if she is a child dependent on her parent/s. Sure, you can support one another, but you shouldn’t be the be all end all.
I feel like i need more information and clarification before i bore you to death with my thoughts 😉 so when you have more time and willing, please write more.
MAttyJune 1, 2016 at 1:04 am #106173Maria_LParticipant
Have you tried talking to her? Asking her directly why she has changed? If she wants to be with that guy instead of you ? How long have you been together? Did she ever expressed feelings like love to you in the past? I personally also hate when people do that- they are technically with you, but slowly pushing you away and dragging what you had in the mud… One honest, even hurtful conversation, I think it’s better than months of ‘slow’ torture, cheating, and slowly and painfully drifting away. You know, as they say ‘a painful end is better than a pain without an end’…
You sound to me like you are sad and afraid to loose her, which is normal, depression is something more serious and I hope that it hasn’t spread it’s dark cloud over you… or her. Especially if she seems fine when she is around other people. When you are depressed, you don’t feel like talking to absolutely anyone, or getting out of bed.
And ask yourself what advice would you give to yourself if you were someone else, objectively observing the situation? I would say that maybe this seems hard now, but life is… life. Some relationships work out, some don’t, some go through rough patches. But I am sure you’d say to yourself you deserve better than a girlfriend who is flirting with your friend, and is not honest with you.
I wish you all the best, forgive me if I was to judgmental, I still don’t know what your girlfriend is going through… But I hope that whatever happens will work out for the best, and will be inspired by love (toward yourself also), not by fear…..
June 1, 2016 at 4:39 am #106179Rock BananaParticipant
- This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Maria_L.
I seriously recommend checking this video out.
It does pertain to this general topic and I think it pretty specifically resonates with your issue on at least some levels. Let me know if it helps you out.June 1, 2016 at 5:00 am #106180MathildaParticipant
Thank you for coming up here and sharing some portion of what is moving you. Maybe you can make it more specific, as Matty has asked.
Be assured that you deserve being taken care of! Take good care of yourself
Please write some more,
MathildaJune 1, 2016 at 5:08 am #106181InkyParticipant
Maybe you shouldn’t call her your GF if she’s treating you like this. You do have to live up to your role on some basic level to have it, you know?
And is she in fact depressed? It sounds like you are now.
I say if she wants Space, give her all the Space in the world!
InkyJune 1, 2016 at 7:30 am #106187AnonymousGuest
Glad you posted again. It’s been a while. I am sorry you are distressed. Hope your situation improves and that you feel better soon.
anitaJune 1, 2016 at 9:12 am #106199
She used to show me she loved me and we are in a relatonship. But lately she hasnt been showing interest in me and we dont talk much anymore.June 2, 2016 at 2:23 am #106282MattyParticipant
Well, i guess the first thing to do is to talk to her about the future of your relationship. Then based on her responses go from there. If she is no longer ‘in love’ with you, then there is not much you can do to change her opinion. Maybe she isn’t into you like before. It will most likely be tough, the fact that she may want to move on, but if it’s a one sided relationship, and you are doing your best to appease her, your not really an equal member of the outfit. No matter what you do, you won’t be respected, cherished nor gain anything from her if she is not as invested in the relationship as you are. When you speak to her, try not to make ultimatiuums, like “I want you to do X, Y and Z”, instead try to discuss the future, what you want from the relationship and whether or not she sees you in her own future.
If you have more to add, please keep writing 🙂
MAttyJune 3, 2016 at 11:06 am #106362
We dont talk anymore. I stopped trying to talk to her cause she never seemed to want to talk to me. So now we have no communication. It is lile we arent even together and it feels like we dont even know eachother anymore. I dont know what to do, im just so sad.June 5, 2016 at 1:49 pm #106580Rose TattooParticipant
I’m sorry, that sounds really hard. If you haven’t been talking….why not? Are you not talking as well? Sometimes we think we know what’s going on, but if we don’t ask the other person, we may find out that we don’t have the full picture. It sounds like you two need to sit down and really talk about all of this. Tell her what you told us – about how you feel she’s not interested, etc. If she isn’t, than it’ll hurt, but you’ll be able to move on. If she is and something else is causing her to withdraw, feel scared, etc, this information might actually help you regain some intimacy that was lost. Relationships do take both people working on communication and openness; it’s not one person’s job to be open. I know it can be scary to have these talks, but it’s necessary to understand what’s happening. I wish you all the best!
I just read your last comment. I understand how you might have shut down because you weren’t getting any response from her. That’s so painful. But if you’re asking and she’s not responding, then she may just not be the partner for you. You have a right to understand where she is in her head regarding the relationship.June 8, 2016 at 3:26 am #106693
I have got her to talk to me but deep down i feel like she lost interest in me and is now interested in my friend because she is always talking to my friend and asking to hang out just them, alone. So i dont know if she is really cheating on me or if it is something else.June 10, 2016 at 5:49 am #106848
She hung out with my friend and i got pissed i slept with another girl.. i cheated on her because i was afraid that she was going or could have cheat on me. How ironic.