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I’m married and feeling guilty over an interaction with another man

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Viewing 4 posts - 16 through 19 (of 19 total)
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  • #446267
    Heather
    Participant

    Hi Gunnar, yes I think I will do exactly what you suggest about deciding what to do in a future situation. And thank you for your kind words <3

    #446268
    Heather
    Participant

    Hi Anita and Alessa,
    Something you both touched on also resonates with me, about caring about people I love and not wanting to disappoint them. I mentioned my friend said that this man was flirting with me. At the time I thought maybe my friend was judging me or disappointed in me for my behavior and that increased my sense that I had done something wrong. I don’t know if she really was, but she’s one of my best and oldest friends so believing she thought badly of me was a strong negative feeling that probably contributed to the guilt I felt.

    #446271
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Heather:

    I understand how hard it is to think your friend might have judged you—it makes sense that this added to your guilt. When we care about someone, their opinion matters, and uncertainty about how they see us can be unsettling.

    Maybe the guilt comes more from worrying about her view than from how you feel about the situation. If you look at it from your own perspective, without her reaction, do you still feel the same way?

    You’re clearly thoughtful and care about doing the right thing. I hope you find peace with this.

    anita

    #446283
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Heather

    That is a really important insight. You have a lot of self-awareness.

    Did worrying about your friend’s perspective lead to you worrying about what your partner’s perspective on the situation might be?

    How do you calmly logically view the conversation that you had? How did you feel about the conversation before the input from your friend?

Viewing 4 posts - 16 through 19 (of 19 total)

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