i’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years.  The first year wasn’t great he would always accuse me of cheating or being sneaky that happened for about the first 9 or 10 months. I ended up getting pregnant in November of the first year. Through my pregnancy we argued A LOT and even after our daughter was born it was constant. Over the next year as time went on , I withdrew from him.  Each arguement , each disagreement, all the hurtful things that were said just built up.  We stopped being intimate as much … TMI ? Maybe ? we’d only be together that way only like once a month or sometimes not at all for months. I thought it was because i just had a baby, but the distance continued. And i was pushed further and further away.  He’s never cheated or anything ( that i know of ) , and neither have I. I feel like him accusing me pushed me away, but when I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to get married and everything. And now the idea of it isn’t as exciting.  I love him to death and I don’t want to be with anybody else , so I don’t know why I feel like this.  I want to make it work because I do love him and now we have a child together.

Our arguments now are at its worse.  We can have a disagreement, and not talk to each other for 2 days and we live in the same house.  Living this way is becoming unbearable , i just feel so miserable.  If I bring something to his attention that i don’t like … he dismisses me in a sense because he thinks i’m just trying to argue and i’m trying to get him to see my side…  But he wouldn’t understand or see or even admit it until i’m ready to kick him out. So it’s a continuous cycle.

Before I met him and during the first year we got together , I was outgoing and passionate about everything I did in my life.  Now I just always feel sad and mostly angry.  I lost all of my friends being in a relationship and becoming a new mom so I only talk to some of my family and him .. that’s it.  He’s not controlling or anything , i just got so wrapped up in him that i don’t even recognize myself anymore.

his upbringing : both parents , he wasn’t really restricted , went down the wrong path and changed when we met thankfully .

my upbringing  : dad not present , mom bipolar alcoholic ( bipolar , depression , anxiety runs in my family ) , i was physically and emotionally abused by my mom for 6 years until she kicked me out and i met him.

Both damaged and broken when we first met. But he got better and I essentially got worse mentally and when we argue he says “ you need to go get help” but not in a sincere way. But on good terms he’ll say he understands and sympathizes with me , other than that he’s starting to throw it in my face, and if i really need help I want him to be the one supporting me , you know ?

I probably sound crazy, but i love him. I want it to work so badly, am I just wasting my time ? Like what about our daughter 😔 he’s a great dad and he’d do anything for me. it’s just so tough in those heated moments and it piles up because nothing is really ever resolved.  i’m open to any advice ! ❤️thank you