Dear Laven:
You have problems, but you are not the problem. Not everything is your fault: a whole lot is not your fault. And everyone has problems. Best we can do is change what needs to change and accept that which we cannot change, which is the principle behind The Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What if you put this prayer into practice in your current circumstances..?
anita