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I'm tired of this life

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  • #181659
    Katie
    Participant

    I’m tired of this life I am living I am a senior in high school I just want to get out of here. I hate everyone in my grade because I do not meet up to their “standards” because I am too awkward. Any time I am put in the spotlight somehow all I feel is everyone judging me its why I keep to my small group of friends. My boyfriend will never realize my worth. I have suffered for 2 years trying to get him to love me, I should’ve known it was a lost cause. I am a good person, I am trusting and loyal and smart. I work hard I help others. I take care of my looks I really do everything I can for this boy I don’t know what more I can do. We were supposed to hangout today but then he asked if we could just hangout tomorrow. I said okay then he started telling me I am sketchy, shady, that I am a liar. I find out he is out somewhere at a party with his friends, we all know what that means. I am done. Everyone of his friends who aren’t losers and are woke tell me “you are the best girlfriend he has had so far, all of his others have been bad people” and you know what?? Maybe its because he is a bad person. I am definitely saying a lot of this out of anger but his family isn’t good. His older brother is a good person he is sweet and nice. And his mother works super hard but my god they are all racist and judge people. My boyfriend is shallow as heck sometimes. I am tired of this I deserve somebody so good. I am such a good person, obviously I am not perfect I make mistakes but my god. I have never cheated on anybody in my life. I am not stupid I know that I love him therefore I treat him right. I am tired. Everybody around me is a loser. My ex best friend just had sex with my other best friend’s boyfriend, how can you be so trash. My best friend who this happened to won’t leave her boyfriend, how can you be so stupid? I want to leave. There are better people out there but I hate everyone. Why can’t things go my way, I get it “everything happens for a reason, this is happening for a reason” but seriously. I work for what I want in life, it is who I am. At this point I have done all I can for this man now the only problem is he is dumb. I don’t want anything else yeah I get it he is my first boyfriend but he means a lot. So annoying. I can’t believe I am surrounded with such trash. Not to kiss my own butt but I am a piece of gold, I am a diamond. You will never meet a person like me honestly. Okay maybe you will I am not perfect but god damn it. Why am I surrounded by this trash. All I see are cheating couples, and I am like seriously? I do not do that stuff. Ugh. I can’t. One day I will meet someone who values me I just hope he is worth all of this. I really love my boyfriend we have been together for a while, I treat him amazingly. He is just blind. He is one of those people who do not know what is right in front of them. Hate people like that. Like… hello? Obviously you love me based on how obsessed you are with me, yet you wanna break everything we have for some attention. I am literally your path to a successful, easy life… yet you wanna take this for granted. Every other girl he has been with is an airhead, who only cares about attention. All everyone wants is attention isn’t that it.

    #181661
    Katie
    Participant

    Like it sucks I love this dumb idiot so much why. Why. He will never know. I KNOW one day he will see me as the CEO of a company and wish he never let me go. He will be like “wow I loved her so much, my taste in girls is horrible but somehow she came to me. i could be rich i could be living” yeah. that will happen.

    #181671
    Katie
    Participant

    Update: I broke up with him because I was done, I just couldn’t take the fighting and all this. He found a way to contact me soon after and told me to get to his house immediately. I thought he wanted to work it out so I went and then got there and he was like “no do not come inside” :)) so yeah this is my life. I am hurt as ever why does he have to treat me this way I just want a happy relationship I have wished for it since I met him. I know he is worth it in my heart and I know he does not enjoy this either so why does he treat me like this.

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