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in love but confused.

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  • #65723
    Lucie
    Participant

    hi guys,
    Actually am in love with my close guy friend. I don’t know why i fear to face him. Last week i was about to see him my heart pounded so fast like i never felt before. But finally we could not meet due to an important meeting cropped up and i had to leave. What scares me is that what if he learns about my feelings and squarely reject me. Coz he dates several girls and he loves open girls i mean who are sex friends. But am not his type. Whenever we hung out he was there watching over me all the time and being funny and he respected me. That is how i fell for him. Last 3 months before he asked me whether i love him for i was being insecure about his girlfriends. I did not replied instead i asked him his own question but he asked me to reply first. I did not. Since that day we cut off contact and i did not call him either. After two weeks i got his missed call but i sent him a text that i was busy and i guess his ego boosted up as usual he din’t reply. I managed to live without him 2 months when his birthday came up. I wished him and heaven sake he thanked me at once. i love him so much. I’ve never been like this before though i’ve dated two guys before. He’s always on my mind, in my thoughts. Everyday he’s in my prayer.

    Yesterday we quarreled about Facebook request. I added him but he did not accept. So we fought a bit on messenger as usual the daily dose. Then he sent me a romantic song which clearly demonstrates my dilemma about my love for him. I guess he knows that i love him. What should i do to know about his feelings and what if he plays with me?? I’ll die.

    #65724
    Inky
    Participant

    Well, clearly he’s a player. He’s got all these sex buddies and/or girls in love with him. He wants to know that you are in love with him, that’s why he teased you with the song apparently about you being in love with him!

    1. The Song ~ Parry back, “But they’re talking about a girl not a guy” ๐Ÿ˜‰

    2. You might have to wait until he’s grown up and shed all these other girls.

    3. You can’t really change this, just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. If/when he teases you about it, just say, “Frankly all these other girls around you is a turn off, so I don’t know how I’d feel about you.”

    4. Don’t be shy about dating other guys. Don’t flaunt them in his face, but don’t hide them either.

    P.S. OMG, FaceBook drama!! If he won’t add you as a Friend he is totally hiding you OR all of them! Withdraw the Friend Request, he’s doing you a favor, actually, because FB drama will just add to your stress level. Imagine ten girls competing over who can come up with the most recent, exclusive, inner joke Wall Post about fun trips/events/parties no one else knew he was going on. ๐Ÿ˜›

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 7 months ago by Inky.
    #65726
    Lucie
    Participant

    hi Inky
    Thanks for the advice but truly speaking, i cannot just get over him. As i mentioned earlier he’s on mind completely and i get so eager to hear him or to message him. I want to crush his ego down. But i dont know how to?

    #65727
    Inky
    Participant

    You don’t have to get over him. But this is a maturity thing. He is still half-baked, immature, crazy. If he’s in HS, wait until he’s in College. College, then wait until out of school. 20s? Wait until he’s 30.

    And the way to put his ego in check is to act like you’re above it all. (And you are!) Say, “I love you, Little Buddy, but I’m not IN love with you!” and give him a head noogie. If three girls are hanging all over him say, “Are you trying to make me jealous again?” with a wink and a smile. And date other guys. Wait a day before texting/calling him back. Write a one line text or only talk for five minutes on the phone (You are busy, after all, with your awesome life!). Act happy, light and fun when he’s with you, (no one likes a downer, and it will keep him wondering!) Wear makeup, change your hair style/color, get new fun clothes, get new bling (it will perk interest and keep you feeling new and beautiful! Shallow, but it works!)

    And most importantly, Jedi-mind trick yourself into believing that you ARE All That, that you are his (or anyone’s!) It Girl. What will happen is all these other people will be congregating around you, that he’ll have trouble getting through!

    So that’s all I’ve got. Good Luck!

    #65729
    Lucie
    Participant

    Oh my dearest Inky u make burst me with laughter. I’ll do that today. By the way he’s 27 ad i’m 24 years old. Thanks again. I’d like to add u as friend or message in private.

    #65730
    Inky
    Participant

    I’m embarrassed to say that I still don’t know how that works here! Try @inky ?? But seriously, I’m lucky in love only because I got very, very lucky! I’m sorry you fell in love with a player. Think of love as having a bad case of the flu. You eventually get over it, but you may never be the same.

    I Manifest a wedding at a vineyard with a perfect and perfectly Mature guy just for you!!!

    #65733
    Lucie
    Participant

    @inky well that does not matter because if my story makes good to anyone out here i’d rather let it to be public. By the way am engaged to a guy already and the thing is that he does not have time for me. Am supposed to get married in the next 2 years. That is how my life going. Eventually i fell in love with my guy friend, Dwane; who is player i suppose. The reason is that he did everything that my fiance, Stephan never did. U know respect is the only thing which makes a relationship worthwhile. As i told you i hung out with Dwane several times he did not give a chance to complain. We went out for movies, lunch he drove me home but never ever took advantage of being alone with him. I guess that is how i started to have feelings for him. And you know what i did once.

    We went out for movie once, in the cinema hall Dwane kept on glancing me differently while i was laughing. Unknowingly i flaunted ” hey stop glancing me like that,i won’t fall for you! “. He stayed there saying nothing sitting next to me. He kept on stealing glances. I guess he’s taking revenge for my rude words. Here it is my story as a whole.

    #65737
    Inky
    Participant

    So if you’re engaged already, this is not a problem, silly goose! ๐Ÿ™‚

    In a perfect world you will break off the engagement with Stephen who doesn’t have time for you and leave Dwane hanging ~ time for you to start over!! Being in love with someone else (who doesn’t seem interested) while being engaged is not a good harbinger for a long happy marriage!

    Most people won’t do that, so cool it with your guy friend and heat it up with your fiancรฉ!

    #65740
    Lucie
    Participant

    @inky
    Hey my dear guess what i told Dwane: I love you but am not in love with you! He replied lol. Furthermore he told me he is deactivating his facebook account. He really did it right now. Now i dont know whether its because of me or other girls.

    By the way what you meant exactly in the previous message? Should i give Stephen another chance?

    #65745
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Again!

    I meant that if Stephen really doesn’t have time for you (and you haven’t mailed out the wedding invitations yet) maybe don’t marry him!

    Also, if you are already falling for other guys, it is possible he is not The One. Could save everyone some heartache.

    If you do marry him, you can’t really flirt or wonder about other guys again!

    Also, maybe Dwayne doesn’t want to get his butt kicked by flirting with another guy’s girl!

    #65778
    Lucie
    Participant

    Hi,

    Well at some points you’re right. I’ll see to it Inky.

    Stephen is right here waiting for the big day to come. The Mr Player; Dwane i must kick his butt i think its time!

    Thanks again. ๐Ÿ™‚

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