I never thought I’d come to the day where I have no idea whats going on in my best friends life. (Well, my best friend from high school- its only been 3 years since I graduated). In high school, we were attached at the hip, and did everything together. Now I don’t even know how to approach the situation, because its been so long. I never thought it would be like this. I was thinking about this on my drive home the other day- I have absolutely no clue whats going on in my two close friends life. I haven’t genuinely talked or saw my friends since new years eve. It’s not like we’ve ignored each other- we all have our own life and have been busy. We’ve had small talk every so often. But in my opinion, you make time for what matters to you. I’ve tried to get together numerous times with both of them, but something always comes up on their end. I love my friends, I do and I know how crazy life can get- but I’m not asking for much… just a simple meet for coffee or go for a quick bike ride. Things come up, I get it. I’m just at the point where I’m tired of trying so hard- and not getting the effort reciprocated. I feel most of my relationships I give and care so much more than I receive. It’s really damaging to my self confidence when I realize the feeling/effort in the relationship isn’t mutual.

I’m different from most in my generation- my friends know that. What I mean is that I hate texting, and am horrible at talking over the phone. I’m a old fashioned, face to face person. So I wanted to reach out to my friends in some way that was easier for me to do. I wrote my two close friends letters. Just basically telling them I miss them, and I hope their doing well with school, family etc. One friend just had a birthday, so I wished her happy birthday again and wished her luck with school. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter what I wrote, its the effort I put into reaching out, because I care so so much about them.

It’s been brought to my attention, that because we are living different lives and have changed since high school, maybe this is the reason we have drifted somewhat. Whatever the reason, I have a hard time letting go of anyone in my life, especially those who have been there most my life. Even those who have hurt me over and over again, (different story) I still have so much love/care in my heart for them. I’ve decided I’m going to just see what happens- if someone is showing effort to get together, then great. If not, then I guess this is a stepping stone to other friends I should spend more time with in my life now. I’m not sure what else to do, because I’m tired of trying so hard and getting disappointed. Any advice?