I’ve been a fan of this site and these forums for a while and this will be my first post. I don’t know what it is that I hope to receive from putting this out, but I guess encouragement and words of wisdom, advice, or support would really help.

3 and a half years ago I moved to a very busy city. I was drawn to its potential and diversity. Anything you could ever want is available right here. The life I’ve carved out is quite good. I have a stable job, play in an amazing band, attend an excellent art school, and have many creative and unique friends. But it feels hollow. Something isn’t right. I feel isolated, even around people I love. I don’t feel like I belong. And I’ve felt that way for as long as I have been here. I’ve tried to make it work. Bounced around in various housing situations and social groups. But I keep feeling disenchanted and disappointed. My heart keeps getting broken because the “dating” scene has evolved to a tinder hook-up culture now. And lately, I’ve felt so overwhelmed and unsafe it’s difficult to leave my home. Just walking to the corner store I get sexually harassed 90% of the time.

So I decided it needs to stop. Everything. I’m quitting my job. Getting rid of the majority of my belongings. Quitting the art class. Dropping out of the band. And I’m moving to a tiny house in the woods. My rent is going to be dirt cheap. I’ll have all the time in the world to figure out what I want to do with myself. I’m 30 years old, never married, and have no kids. I’m excited for the new promise of what I discover when I eliminate all the distractions that keep my guard up constantly. I’m looking forward to having a safe space to allow myself to fall apart so I can heal fully. And I’m also looking forward to seeing how my art develops and grows.

Despite all this, I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t make any friends in the local town. I’m scared that it might not work out. I’m scared of my own projections into the unknown. And if this doesn’t work out, my finances are not currently supportive of a backup plan. I’m kinda putting all my eggs in this basket. Trying to trust my heart and the universe. But I feel so alone.